#i've been correcting people a lot of the times when they said i was knitting

[wandixx]

I made a prompt some time ago and my brain couldn't let it go so I want to write an actual fic about it. But I need your help to do it.

You can find the prompt I'm talking about here. To summarize it quickly because I know it ended up kind of long. Dani was traveling around the USA and met/befriended some people, heroes and villains include. And then she left to see another place. It wouldn't be a problem if before she left, she said goodbye. She didn't so now they she got kidnapped and are panicing.

I have some ideas, some serious chaos I mentioned (about 2500 words and counting) or super serious chaos if things'll go properly, who knows, some Dani hangs out with Duke during his patrols and is low key his sidekick (5500 words and counting, everything on paper because why not?), both in much different places on a timeline, untouched but thought about idea for Dani and Conner clone budding AND one bit for when she met Flashfam and one when she asked Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy for autographs for Jazz and Sam.

But here is a thing. All I know about DC is from dpxdc tag and some fics on AO3. Also from dpxdc of course. So it means I don't know a jack shit about people outside of Batfam.

So, what I'm asking for is, if you have ideas who else Dani could mess with or/and links to fanfics with your favorite characterizations or character analysis here or on AO3, any way of communication you are comfortable with is open, please send it (maybe not in actual mail that would be both creepy and unreasonably expensive)

I can't exactly watch movies/cartoons because I fear my computer wouldn't survive that (I had a moment of black screen two times in the last twenty minutes and three more temporary freezes, how is this thing still running, and how it became my most reliable internet connection device?)

Anyway, send the links I beg you

[earlycuntsets]

11/23/2004 gerard's interview from coffee with cojo on artsucks.com

"It's really cool when people you know, and knew from obscurity become famous in a field you would have never guessed that they were even involved in.

Here is some back story. . .My freshman year of college (SVA) I became fast friends with this kid named Gerard Way. It was our "foundation year" where they lump students into "general blocks" of courses, reguardless of major. The people you are grouped with, you are stuck with, because they will be in about seventy percent of your classes your foundation year. Being that Gerard was a cartooning and illustration major with a line-art-cartoonish-comic-book style, and I had been working at Marvel Comics for the past two years; we had a lot in common. He was actually a really good cartoonist (One of the top in our class).

Well, Gerard was best friends with this guy Todd. Todd was a funny guy, but I didn't really hang around with him. I was a DJ for our school's radio station (WSVA) at the time and I was dating this girl Cheryl.

A few months later I broke it off with Cheryl. . .Time passed and somewhere along the line (I can't remember how long exactly) Todd started seeing Cheryl. Of course that's when Todd would want nothing to do with me (being that he was with Cheryl now), and it's also where I lost touch with Gerard (Naturally, he being Todd's best friend and all).

Well, I would run into Gerard in school over the years from time to time, and I remember seeing one of his cartoons printed in "THE BIG BOOK OF THE WEIRD WILD WEST" which was part of one of my favorite graphic novel series' (THE BIG BOOK OF).

Then in 2003 sometime I ran into Gerard walking down Third Avenue right off of St. Marks Place. I hadn't seen him in like seven years and his name slipped my mind, but I was sure it was him.

I followed him, he was going pretty fast "MARK!" I yelled to him, and he turned around. He looked at me with the expression of searching one's memory to place a face.

"Cojo?" He said, then corrected me "It's Gerard by the way, where did you get Mark from?"

"I don't know, maybe St. Marks? I was just drawing a blank on your name, I'm sorry, but I knew it was you and I had to stop you, how ya been man?" I asked.

I rarely run into old classmates so I offered to buy him a cup of coffee. We were right in Cooper's Square so we hit a Starbucks (If you've never been in Cooper's Square, you will be amused to learn that there are three Starbucks Coffee shops within sight of one another. . .it's really freakish).

I paid for his coffee and we shot the shit. He blew my mind telling me that he's the lead singer for a band called "MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE" and that they just got back from touring Europe. What the fuck? A far cry from cartooning.

I told him about all the weird work I've been doing. It's so rare that I actually run into someone from school who is successful and doing something they love. It was really refreshing. I took a few photos of him as we talked. I'm weird with documenting things- as if you haven't noticed.

We left Starbucks and kept shooting the shit. Having nothing to do he decided to join me for the rest of the afternoon. We walked over to the Virgin Megastore on 14th and he pointed out the magazines his band had been spotlighted in and what music he's into and what not.

It was funny cause he's like: "We're in Alternative Press all the time" and I was like, "Hey, I worked for A.P., I did stuff for the Warped Tour a few years back and actually visited their office in Cleveland!" (-author's note: you will read about this Cleveland trip in the past updates after the site hard launches in Feb-). It was cool cause we knew the same peeps.

I showed him the magazines I was in, and turned to the pages to show him the artwork. One neat thing about being in magazines is that you have a mini portfolio of your work at any magazine shop you walk into in the country.

Well, he invited me to see his band perform at THE KNITTING FACTORY the next week. I told him I would try to make it, but I was really slammed with work so I probably wouldn't be able to make this one, but I'd really like to do an interview with him or him and the band sometime where I could record our conversation.

Like just hang out and shoot the shit with them (cause he's just a down to earth Jersey born kid like myself) and pitch it to magazines afterwords, accompanied by a portrait I would do of their members. He was like: "Man, I wish you had a tape recorder on you now, the stuff I've been saying is good shit, totally printable shit!" And he was right, I really was digging at him about what happend that got him to make the transition from art into music and was getting the "real" answers, not the way a rockstar talks to a reporter, but the way an old bud you goofed off with in drawing class and you haven't seen in years talks to you.

I told him I'd look out for his band in the mags and if I saw something or could help em' out I'd spotlight it or give him a buzz. He thanked me for payin' for the Starbucks and then I caught a train uptown.

Well, September Maxim's Blender did a whole page on MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, showcasing them as the next big thing. Then last week I was out with my girl and we walked by a magazine rack, and on the cover of AP (Alternative Press) was Gerard and his band in some serious Rigamortis style dead make-up.

"No SHIT!" I exclaimed, and picked it up. I explained to Tracy (my girlfriend) the story of how I knew this guy. That night I was flipping through the channels and I came upon MTV and what the fuck, there was a MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE video! Same day as I saw the cover! The song was catchy as hell. I couldn't believe it. I was like: "No crap. . . they are gonna be huge!" Just after their song, a yellow card video started. I guess that's their genre. I asked Ink's brother (17 year old semi-pro skateboarder) Mikey if he knew of My Chemical Romance. He told me he's a fan, has their albums. I asked Jain, and she was like, "Um yeah, they are actually a really popular band! They've been out for a while."

So I guess this update is long overdue, and so is a congrats to Gerard. Keep kickin' ass man! Next time you are back in town, give me a buzz.

Just another day in the life of an Art Juggernaut.

-Cojo"

[bookwyrminspiration]

no pressure but what's it like being raised in the bahá'í faith? I've read a bit about it before and then just reread some stuff upon seeing ur tags and it actually speaks pretty well to how I describe my relationship with religion as a Catholic raised agnostic (I think that all religions hold potential truths and that there's not really a truly fully "correct" religion) so I'm curious what it's like to actually live with it/the practices & beliefs ^^

(heads up: this got a little long)

I'd imagine its quite similar to being raised in other beliefs--the beliefs themselves just vary.

For context, my family joined the baha'i faith when I was 5, and I stayed until I was 15--which is the official age you can decide for yourself, and I'd already figured out I was an atheist (though I never did the paperwork, so officially i'm still counted in the census). So I've got about 10 years experience in the faith, though I've never been a religious person

Like you said, the Baha'i faith thinks there is a truth to all religions. There's one God and every so often he sends a prophet to remind us of his teachings--Abraham, Mohammad, Jesus, etc. The most recent is Bahá’u’lláh, born about 200 years ago, which is who Baha'is follow now--and will until the next prophet.

The faith is huge on unity; it's like the core tenet. We are the fruits of one tree and the leaves of one branch, humanity is a collective so we should be uplifting and supporting everyone--including people we disagree with. Which meant it was a very kind and supportive environment focused on mutual aid and service. Trips to the food bank to volunteer, visits to each other when in need, that kind of thing

Like in other religions, we did things on Sundays, meeting at the Baha'i center. There we'd have the toddler's classes (up to age 5), children's classes (5-10), junior youth (11-15), and then the adult sessions (which I never went to myself); this way everything was in one building at the same time. So growing up that just meant I'd be busy Sunday mornings and had to plan around that.

Every 19 days would be a feast day, marking the start of another month (there are 19 months with 19 days each). These would typically be held at a member's house, and they'd house their sector. It's pot-luck style and there people would read prayers, listen to music, and talk about the value of the month (each month has a different value--we just ended Mulk/Dominion). Things like why it was important, in what ways, how to incorporate it into our lives for the next 19 days.

Also I should mention--the Baha'i community is rather small. The religion is only about 200 years old, so it's a rather close-knit community here. We were friends or at least friendly with practically everyone, and there were few kids, so we all knew each other and grew up kinda together.

Feast is held in the evening though, which means the most consistent attendees are the older people--parents with kids had to be conscious of bedtimes and whether it was a school night, so my family didn't attend all of them.

Then there'd be the Holy Days--Naw-Rúz (New Year), 1st, 9th, and 12th days of Ridván, the twins' (Bahá’u’lláh and the Báb) births and martyrdoms, etc. Then we'd all meet at the Baha'i Center in the evenings, where there'd be a program, music, praying, and then we'd go eat--which was also potluck, but on a bigger scale. The faith originated in Iran, so a good portion of the community is Persian and a lot of the food I grew up with there was, too.

I don't think this is too different from what other religions do, it's just the specific Holy Days and what/who we're remembering that's different.

What was different for me--and for a lot of non-christian/catholic raised kids was the constant underlying knowledge that you're different. You don't see your prayers, your symbols (nine pointed star is the main one), your holy figures, your practices anywhere. You make christmas crafts at school and think: this isn't actually my holiday, but here I am anyway. And there's this feeling of wanting to say something, to distinguish yourself because you know people are assuming you're christian/catholic otherwise. Because it's the default and you're an outlier.

I have never met a Baha'i person outside of the center, outside of the people I've known since I was 5. Nobody knows what the Baha'i faith is, what it's beliefs are. Everywhere I go it's with the knowledge there's a 99% chance I'm the only one in the room--and the thing is, I'm atheist. I don't believe in any god, and yet because the Baha'i faith is such a minority it's important for me to still maintain that connection that separates me from the assumptions people make. Every time it comes up, I'm already prepared to explain because I know no one else knows about it, so to be Baha'i or former Baha'i is to be an ambassador, a resource as much as I can be even with my limited experience--because it's also not a closed religion. They love to spread the teachings and get people attending. One of the times my family hosted feast my friends who lived down the street came and we competed to see who could say the most prayers (though stuff to do with budget and that kind of thing is a little more for members only)

I'm kinda jumping around to think of other info, apologies. There's a daily prayer facing Bahá’u’lláh's shrine once you're a Youth (above 15), and that's also when you start participating in the fast. During the month (19 days) of Ala, you don't eat from sunrise to sunset. There's also the pilgrimage to...Bahgdad? Haifa? No one in my family has taken it, so I can't remember the location off the top of my head, but the point is there are locations of importance (like shrines and temples) in that area of the world where Baha'is' goal is to visit at least once in their life. One of the other kids I knew did a year of service after high school and went on her pilgrimage before starting college.

This has gotten a little long so I'll wrap up here but that was generally what it was like/what was up. Very community and service focused, very warm and friendly. It just meant certain days I had things going on others didn't (attending the Naw-Rúz celebration that evening, for example), and that it was always something I knew was different about my life compared to the community I was in.

This answer feels quite scattered and eclectic, so if anyone has any follow up questions feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer :)

[blubushie]

what you said about being intersex hit close to home.

im intersex as well and for a long while ive felt like im not cis or trans enough to be fully either.

because of my condition, i hit puberty really early developing both male and female sex characteristics. for this i was mocked during my entire adolescence as i was seen like a freak.

currently i guess i identify as nothing. gender as a construct has always been incredibly alienating, nonsensical and cruel and having autism on top of it never helped.

i dont think i will ever understand gender, but now i am not the only one

Yep, I was mocked too. Kids called me a girl and all that, and I started going by another name (the name my parents were going to name me if I'd been born female) by the time I was 14. And from 14 to 16, I was living life as a girl because it was what society expected of me. And I kinda went back and forth for the longest while, hence the idea of bushgender. Plus side of the bush is that I can do feminine things and not worry about people judging me for it. I didn't really know what I was and even doctors couldn't give me a definitive answer.

I'm content being a bloke, and I'm glad my outward appearance reflects that. I don't reckon gender itself is a purely social thing--a lot of it is rooted in biology--but most gender roles are purely cultural or societal and change depending on what culture you're looking at. And I like that about that bush. It's just nature out there. I can be incredibly masculine in the bush and do things associated with being masculine without people thinking I'm compensating for something. And I can knit, or bake, or do the few things considered more feminine that I actually enjoy, and I don't have to worry about what people might think if they see a bloke knitting.

It's a weird thing when you've lived in the middle for so long. I got treated like a bloke and I got treated like a chick. For my first year in Australia before I really grew the beard out I just became... apathetic to it all. I looked like a butch chick. Someone would approach me and not know what to use. "Whatever you're thinking is the right one." That usually made people assume I'm nonbinary but I'm... not? I've always been a bloke. But I just got tired of correcting people. It was a losing game. Luckily my voice is deep enough that most people assumed male once they heard me talk, but I can't count how many time I've been at a B&S and been approached by a bloke who just thought I was really flat-chested for a chick. And that part sucks too.

But it's less of an issue as I've gotten older. And in time I've also just gotten less involved with gender in general. Everything feels so performative on both sides, and I hate performances. Blokes act overly masculine (becoming obsessed with fitness and pickup games, becoming obsessed with The Grind, etc) because they feel they need to and they're pressured by other blokes and chicks. Chicks act overly feminine (becoming obsessed with makeup and skincare routines, becoming obsessed with clothing and such) because they feel they need to. And you can tell when someone's actually passionate about fitness, or bettering themselves, or fashion, or skin health compared to them doing it because they're trying to live up to gender standards. And everyone is so goddamn materialistic. So I just don't worry about gender anymore. I'm Blu, and Blu's already weird enough, so what's a little extra added to the mix?

Anyway! This has turned into a rant. Gender is weird, people are weird, bodies are weird, you do you and don't worry about the rest. :]

[bibliotheksbewohnerin]

tagged by @darkmistandodddreams , thank you, i'm excited to answer this!!

Rules: List five topics you can talk about for an hour without preparing any material, and tag five (or more) people!

1.Medieval books, especially 15th century

As much as I could talk about medieval manuscripts alone, it's that period where those existed alongside printed books where it's really at. Like, the decoration alone, both the printed and the one illuminated by hand, the way printing changed the role of illustration and decoration in books, the shift from parchment to paper, the fact that there is a time where printing happened both on paper and on parchment, the book production and trade that had gradually moved away from the church even before the advent of printing in western europe, the way the accessibility of books changed how people practiced private devotion... And the little notes and drawings people left in books, the way you can sometimes see fingerprints where someone was holding open a page, or a saint's face being rubbed away because someone had touched it so often...just, those little traces of humanity everywhere? Those really get me.

2.Gothic cathedrals / churches

This was what drew me to pursue a degree in art history, tbh. I will walk into every historic church i find on holiday and not get bored. Loved learning the name of every tiny little building detail in school and university. It's not as much a religious fascination as it is an aesthetic and technical one, plus the surrounding societal circumstances that led to this pariticular style emerging. Will also happily correct those misconceptions spread in the 18th/19th century about how colourless they thought gothic churches should look. It's not the only architectural period I'm into, but probably the one I know the most about.

3.Traditional German clothing

I'd probably be able to talk the most about the particular regional clothing I grew up wearing when dancing and all its little details and handcrafted items, but there's also a lot of interesing things to be said about the history overall (and why Bavaria is a special case and is definitly not representative for the rest of the country). There's also the aspect of right-wing assholes always claming to want to protect tradition when they usually actually know little to nothing about any of this. And I have a lot of opinions about what we can learn from traditional clothing when it comes to sustainability of fashion. Sidenote: I refuse to call it 'traditional costumes'. My great-grandma wore this every day. It's not a costume.

4.Crochet & knitting

I've only really gotten into knitting in the last year or so, but when I'm into something, I'm into it, you know how it is. And I've been an avid crocheter since childhood. Will happily convince people to try it out or pick it up again.

5.Star Trek

No single show in particular, though I think there should be 30 minutes minimum dedicated to the historical context, politics and innovative nature of TOS alone.

tagging @t-t-kreischwurst, @oatmilktruther, @bucketsofodo13, @appleteeth, @vonlipwig if youse haven't done it already and feel like it

[hatandtie24]

9/13/2024

I finished my fourth week at college today. Well, I guess not technically, I still have tomorrow to go. It's been weird being away from my family for this long. It feels like I just left, I know everyone says that though, but it is true. These weeks really have gone by so fast. And I guess I only have about three more weeks until I leave for fall break, which is a week long, thank god. I daydream of laying on the couch with my dog watching autumnal movies all day. I do have BIG plans for my fall break, including baking and cooking foods I don't get here.

Being gluten and dairy free isn't too bad, even though a lot of people act like it is, I guess I've just gotten used to it over the past (almost) two years. I do still crave cheez-its though. My friend's mom gave all of us in our friend group pumpkin bread, and she gave me the biggest loaf (because of me being gluten and dairy free). It's not cut into slices so I've just been eating it how you would a sandwich and it reminded me of the meme of the mouse eating cheese all alone. I feel like you know exactly which one I'm talking about. But that's basically me in my dorm room.

Yesterday I went to a knitting and crocheting club meeting here with my friends, even though I don't know how to knit or crochet. My friends taught me, but I'm still struggling. Before I got on call with my family last night I was knitting at my desk and one of the needles flew out of my hand, bounced off of the desk and ALMOST hit my eye. My life did in fact flash before my eyes, but I have not perished due to knitting related accidents yet.

One of my professors today did a check in, asking us what our weeks would be if it was a beverage. Overall, I think my week has been pretty good. I've been transitioning out of feeling like a high schooler to feeling like I'm actually in college which is crazy. I said my week was like hot apple cider, with the perfect amount of spice and tartness, but after the rest of today, I don't think it was that good. Maybe more like a cup of tea that's cooled down slightly too much, where you're still gonna drink it, but it's not as good as it would've been five minutes ago. This is mainly because I had a French oral exam this afternoon. I don't think it went as well as I was planning it would. When I tell you I spent so much time devoted to making sure I had all the verbs in my notes correct you'd better believe me. Basically, we had to keep a conversation with one of the TAs going for six minutes, using the tense futur simple correct six times. It seems easy enough, until you're talking to your TA and suddenly forget every word you know in French. And I've been taking French for four years, so you know it's bad. Anyways, we had to talk about what we are going to do over our fall break. I had so much planned out. All the verbs in my notes were in the correct tense, I was just waiting for her to ask me the right questions. Alas, I bungled it. My TA did not ask me ANY questions pertaining to my notes, and I freaked out. There are times in French when I say stuff, and afterwards have no idea what I just said and this is one of those times. You could not ask me what I told my TA because I just do not remember and I don't really know what I was saying. I'm just praying I used the futur simple six times, because that's literally the easiest French thing I was supposed to have done in a while. I do have a test on Wednesday, so I'm hoping I do better on that then the oral exam, and maybe my grade in the class won't be awful.

There's not much going on on campus tonight, but there is a BYOB (bring your own book) thing at a late night cafe place, and I was hoping that maybe my friends would want to go with me. We'll see, I guess. I think they're at a sex ed thing rn, and we'll probably get dinner sometime soon. I didn't go to the sex ed fair because it's been 18 years and no one has shown interest in me. Okay, that's a little dramatic, but the last four years in high school have been quite dry in that area. I thought college might be a place where I would (finally) find someone for me, however we're about a month in and it's not looking good. It's most likely due to me not talking to anyone I don't know and not my actual personality (I have friends who like me I swear) but I still have my doubts. I'm pretty quiet, and I understand that I'm unapproachable but I don't really understand how someone gets a boyfriend. It's all just very foreign to me. I don't have very many guy friends, and I don't understand how women are friends with guys, not in a When Harry Met Sally "men are only friends with women to have sex with them" kind of way, but more in a "men have never talked to me" type of way. I'm genuinely confused as to how to get a guy to talk to you, but it's only been one month and I'm the kind of person that people warm up to, so you never know.

On that note, I think I'm gonna sign off. Maybe I'll update again, maybe I won't, but journaling like this is a little relaxing.

[promiseiwillwrite]

Whatever comes Up ~ March

So here we are, three days in.

This is my only day off in a span of 12 days. I've been good, and doing my physical therapy exercises. All my muscles in my left hip and butt are mad at me. My Right hip is complaining, and my Low back as well. There has been a lot of "Spring Transition Weather" out here, and I think the barometer is probably sea sick at this point.

I have not seen the mouse again.

The Other people that live in my head have more or less stuck around... It's less crowded than it was before, like all of them have day jobs or something... Like they aren't there most of the time, but pop in to visit. It Really feels like self care.

I saw Theater Girl in her red dress again. There were discussions about changes. Discussions about maturity, and sexuality, and values. and where we sit with all that. Daemeon asked me to start playing D&D again. It just so happens that my friend is short some players...

I have done a bit of knitting here and there. Learning stitches still, and seeing the differences in the resulting fabric when you use all Garter stitches, or the sockinette stitch. Learning to tighten things up.

Tried crochet, but I think I used a yarn that was just too fuzzy to start off with. The hook kept grabbing the individual threads of the wrong twist. I tried it out when I was too tired, as well, which could have contributed to the issues. I will re-attempt with a tighter string, and see if I can get the process down a little more concretely before making another attempt with the fuzzy yarn.

I would Really like to make myself a witch hat... But It looks like the pattern for the one I fancy is definitely a crochet pattern.

On the first, I reached out to the inner and outer wilds at the end of my day, and opened the entreaty to whatever might come up.

And I think the creature that came has been waiting for their turn since my cat died.

There is a Mushroom that lives in my back yard that Bloomed with caps in the middle of January. The mushrooms were a dark brown. about two inches tall, and an inch and a half across, with a wrinkly cap. I THINK they are Helvella lacunosa, a type of Elfin Saddle. But I am having a hard time getting a good ID because the fruiting bodies have all vanished. Nothing in the pictures I am seeing looks right. Helvellas are a little too convoluted. Based on some of the pictures in a book I have, they look a little more like Psilocybe stuntzii, but I don't think these pictures are dark enough for what was growing out of the lawn, the color of wet coffee grounds.

At any rate, the entire yard at the bottom of the steps around the porch kind of gets watered when I water all my plants.

That whole area was just covered with mushrooms. I must conclude that the body of the mushroom exists in a huge swathe around the porch, in the grass and soil that has been seeing some incidental love for several many years.

And on the first, I was visited by a Mushroom Fairy.

The mushroom fairy looks like they are covered with black hairs, except for the exposed skin of their face, hands and midriff, which are blue.

I won't lie. I am afraid of the Folk. Okay, Afraid is maybe a strong word. I feel very anxious, cautious, self-conscious, and vulnerable around them. Maybe Afraid is the correct word after all. I have felt like I have had to be very careful of my words. I think this one actually does want to be friends, though, and I don't want to piss them off.

So far, they seem nice. I feel like they really do want to be friends, and don't really have another agenda.

They DID say something that kind of stuck in my craw, however. They said I was one of them, and expressed sorrow that I was so buttoned up. And they meant a fairy. And I am definitely a Human. But my mom always told me that she made a deal with fairies to get me. But my mom says a lot of fucked up shit because that's her way of being edgy.

I have definitely not asserted a priority for enjoying what I like in my life in many areas, because enjoying what I like seems to hurt people, and I've found that I don't like hurting people. I've had to find ways of enjoying myself quietly, and safely, away from others, that don't upset anyone.

But I still look across the fences of my boundaries and daydream. I'm just wise enough in my old age to realize that not having a thing that I want doesn't have to mean I am unhappy with my life. Especially when I would have to put in Huge Effort to get what I think I would want.

There is part of me that thinks this MAY be a large gymnastic routine that I have to do to avoid the laser grid of admitting that I have unmet desires.

The other part of me is fairly certain that this is better than setting fire to my life and the lives of those around me, which could be an immediate result of fucking around and finding out in this area.

More later.

[leos-regression-cove]

Hi, question! Could you elaborate on what you said about adapting montessori (and similar) approaches to caregiving for littles? I’m very curious and am not sure how that would play out

Yes! I can absolutely elaborate!

There are plenty of reasons that I like these methods for regressors.

1) is for the educational values. All regressors know their ABCs and 123s no matter how little they regress, but do you know how to knit? How about how to make sourdough bread? Do you know how to wet felt or make soap? These are all great activities that will keep littles entertained, filled with the wonders of learning, and still feeling like their regressed age.

Another reason I like these alternative methods is that they work for almost any age range or ability. A toddler regressor and a tween regressor can both crochet. A baby little and a teen middle can both help making bread.

2) is for the play and imagination. I've found a lot of littles still enjoy dramatic play (house, store, school, etc.) Experimental/sensory play, and puzzles, but have a hard time with toy play (Barbie, LPS, Transformers, etc.). Montessori and other alternative schooling methods tend to emphasize these other forms of play over toy reliant play (with the exception of Waldorf dolls and story puppets which are used for pre-planned stories and therefore IMO don't count). It also saves money AND these toys play into the educational value since many times they're made by the students.

3) is the decor. Montessori and Waldorf are much more subtle and cheaper than the mainstream idea of what constitutes a good playroom or nursery. Instead of a loud, over decorated area, which some may find overestimating, you have these quiet, more ambiguous areas that can still make one feel distinctly little. (Personally, I find the Montessori idea of a floor bed instead of a crib very exciting since I am a baby regressor and can't afford to have a crib built)

4) alternate caregiver dynamics. I love Montessori for regressors because part of it emphasizes the independence of the child. Waldorf tends to be more sheltered and cuddly, but for a little without a cg, many Montessori lessons are usable.

5) A lot of people who regress tend to have some sort of mental health trouble or disability. Waldorf, Reggio Amelia, and Montessori teachings all emphasize a "daily rhythm" and routine. Personally (it's different for each individual) I've found that a Waldorf environment (since that's where my real life experience lies. I just think Montessori and Reggio are also neat and have interesting, explorable concepts to look into) not only helps me regress, but has really helped calm my anxiety, and made autism and ADHD easier since there's a very set, strict way each day works. I don't doubt that it could be the same for others.

I am a bit bias so keep these things in mind:

1) I do not really like any of these ideas entirely and think they have their flaws, especially when it comes to actual children. (In fact I HATE the idea of Montessori with actual children. I think it's really awful for socialization and skill building, especially in later grades.) I think Waldorf's insistence on a "correct creativity" and knowledge restriction until certain ages, and the Montessori approach of depriving children of fiction for the first 7 years of life are BS.

2) these viewpoints come from someone who has spent time on mommy blogs and school curriculum sites and has not been in the classroom (except for that of a Waldorf high school)

3) a lot of my love of specific aspects comes from the perspective of someone trying to set up a little daycare. Some things like the mixed age groups and lack of emphasis on time periods leads to less tension between little ones of different backgrounds and regressed ages so of course I love it.

There are probably, definitely more reasons I like these ideas, but I'll add them later. Thank you for asking!

Other resources to games, activities, ideas, etc. will be linked in a reblog.

[newtonsheffield]

Hello again!!!! I'm the Spanish girl back in here!

Firstly, I'd like to send you my best wishes for this tough week of work, and I bet we're going to miss you around here this week. But duty calls! And, look, how many people can say they've got a whole week for relaxing after a week of work? 😌 (Perhaps I've misunderstood the whole thing; I've read your posts quite quick and I've understood sth different to what you wanted to say lol)

Well, what can I say with one of the last prompts you have gifted to us...? Kate, Anthony (and his Spanish!!!!!!) and Spain; you got me there. 😂 I even cried the famous "Ole!" when I read all of it (curious note: not all Spaniards use the expression "ole" in daily contexts; it is more like a regional expression that became worldwide famous bc of several reasons that are too long to post here, lol) and I think it's needless to say I loved it... isn't it?

And, I LOVED a lot Edwina's POV and story (well, I've loved everything you have posted and gifted to us, but Eddie has a special place in my heart)! I don't know, but sometimes I get the impression that, in romantic literature, relationships between sisters are not addressed at all and kinda force them to be friends (if they're not rivals... which I find stupid, tbh), not really deepening in the bond between them. Like, they're sisters and they behave more like "my next door neighbour and friend to whom sometimes I'm distant bc life happens" instead of "this person and I share much more than many people can imagine that's beyond friendship and she's more important than anybody else" -idk if this makes sense anymore... I rewrote it a couple of times bc I got the impression I can't express my idea very well 😂-. And that's something I think both of you, JQ and yourself, have achieved and gifted to all of us! We see Edwina and Kate as sisters: they fight, they tease the other, they can't stand each other sometimes, but always, ALWAYS, they care for and love the other just as sisters do. Because of this, I think TVWLM is one of my favourite books in this genre: they give us a two fantastic love stories, not only between a -heterosexual- couple but also between sisters; which is as important as any other kind of relationship.

After my TED Talk (sorry if it's been too much... 😅), I cannot help but imagine an escapade between Anthony and Kate (sans children) and Matthew and Edwina (oh, Matthew... I love you) to Spain just for Anthony, in his stupid one-side battle against Matthew (I love this, tbh; it's sooooo fun 😂), demonstrate Matthew he can speak fluently another language... Just for Matthew be oblivious to this and enjoy a little escapade to Spain with his girlfriend and her family. 😂

Anyways; I hope you're alright and, again, I wish you all the best for this week.

Besos!!! 🥰 (Spanish equivalent for the "Love!" farewell expression; it means "kisses")

Hola! You’re back again! And I’m so glad! 

I do have a week off once I finish work tomorrow (Saturday)!! Very Exciting! I have a scarf to knit, and lots of writing to do so that’s very exciting. 

Oh Anthony on a Spanish beach in tiny little flamingo shorts? Ole! indeed! That is a curious note, I literally love learning things about other cultures and languages so if anyone wants to share a curious note about their culture, hit me up! I will in turn tell you about the curious culture of The Land Down under, and our propensity to butcher the English language!

I agree, Sister relationships are a very curious thing in media. I’m not a huge fan of very contentious relationships between sisters, I’m not saying they don’t exist in real life, they definitely do, I just think having them as constant rivals is exhausting. And Yes! I Love the relationship between Edwina and Kate very much because I see it as a mirror of my relationship with my own sister. My sister drives me more insane than any other person on this planet. We fight, we bicker, I get absolutely enraged when she steals the last property I need for a set in Monopoly, and yet, She is my favourite person. She can say whatever she wants about me, but were anyone else to? It’s fight on sight. I’ll be honest, that all I’m doing is basing their relationship in these fics  on my own with my sister. Nothing special! 

Okay! Here we go! Anthony and Kate + Goose and Edwina +Spain

Kate Bridgerton was many, many things, but she liked to think an idiot, was not one of them. And so, when Anthony had said, in a tone she was sure he thought was casual. “I think we deserve a holiday, you’ve been working very hard to grow the little broad bean after all and your sister and her little gander should celebrate their engagement.” She had known exactly what he was up to. And she wasn’t really sure why she played along along with it. Perhaps something in her thrived on the chaos she knew Anthony would would create, perhaps part of her just really wanted a decent paella. Surely it didn’t matter, the result was the same: Kate fixed an innocent expression on her face and said  “Where did you have in mind?” 

 And so, surprise, surprise, here she was: back on a beach in Spain. She had to admit, eyeing Anthony appreciatively as he paddled demonstratively in the shallow water, his plan had its merits. though thus far his attempts had been... unsuccessful at best. Matthew Bagwell seemed absolutely thrilled to be in Spain, on holiday with his fiancée, giving them helpful facts he knew about the architecture as they walked through the city, a wide smile on his face, Anthony practically purple when he corrected a fact Anthony himself had said.   “Do you speak Spanish, Goose?” Anthony had said dryly in the hotel lobby shortly after they’d arrived. And Kate had rolled her eyes at Anthony, though Matthew was not paying attention. He had his arms wrapped tightly around Edwina’s waist, whispering something in her ear that made her nose crinkle in delight, the sapphire of her engagement ring glinting in the sunlight. And the beautiful picture they made gave Kate’s heart a little stutter. Anthony tutted. “Matt!” He said sharply, getting the man’s attention, Matthew’s glasses slipping down his nose as his head shot upwards in surprise.  “Do you speak Spanish?” Edwina was rolling her eyes now. And Matthew, for his part was completely unbothered  “oh, no. Sorry Mate, might have to lean on your pretty heavily this week.” He said, and Kate caught the smug smile on Anthony’s face and bit back a groan Damnit Matthew.  “I’m pretty fluent in French, German and Mandarin though!” Matthew said smiling happily, turning back towards Edwina, completely oblivious to the scowl Anthony tossing his way. “Of course you fucking are.” He muttered, fixing Kate with an irritated glare as a laugh escaped her!   

The water surely must be a little cool in early October but Anthony showed no signs of it, Beckoning Kate into the water. She groaned and made her way towards him, laughing happily as he tugged her in, his hand resting on her stomach, still no sign of her pregnancy. “Is he watching?” Anthony whispered in her ear as he wrapped his arms around her waist, spinning her through the water So she had a brief image of her sister smiling brightly at her fiancée who appeared to be... bless him building a sandcastle. 

“No. He’s not.” Kate said batting her husband’s hands away irritatedly as he scowled.  “Are you really trying to look more in love than they are?” Kate scoffed, disbelief at her husband’s idiocy rising with in her. Anthony looked indignant. “No! A man can’t take an interest in his wife now? Very poor show Mrs. Bridgerton.” He said, but his eyes, darted towards the shore at the last second.  “Oh I cannot believe you! You’re absolutely manic!” She replied as Anthony attempted to pull her back towards him, Kate putting up very little fight as she tumbled against. him, his voice hot in her ear. “Insufferable I hear.” Kate scoffed. “Ugh! If Anyone’s insufferable it’s him!” 

Kate turned to follow Anthony’s gaze to find Matthew waving at them, grinning broadly, completely unbothered. And Kate couldn’t keep from laughing as Anthony went on another muttered tirade.

Besos! 

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Red Roses, Red Roses

Rated: 16+ For graphic descriptions of violence and gore, brief mentions of rape, mentions of torture, mentions of abuse, and disturbing images.

Masterlist

~All the pretty girls, they find

A way to keep you on my mind

I swear I heard you singing along

Cities pass like candy stores

And you're the one

I'm looking for

And so

I'm just a boy

Who's telling a girl

That when I grow up I'll buy you a rose

When I grow up, I'll buy you a rose~

"Okay, but what is the proper plural form of Nephilim?" I asked from the back seat of the Impala as it drove through the winding roads from the bunker and into town. "See, 'cause ' Nephilims ' sounds weird. So, is it ' Nephili ' like ' octopi ', or could it be ' Nephilice ' like ' mice '? I need to know this, guys."

The car was silent. Sam, Cas, and Jack were all thinking over the answer to my question and Dean was just rolling his eyes in the mirror.

"Maybe-" Sam started slowly "-Maybe it's just 'Nephilim'. You know, like ' moose '?"

"Yeah, that kinda sounds right, I guess." I nodded. Dean laughed and shook his head, glancing at me in the mirror. "What?"

"Oh, nothin'." He waved a hand. "I just don't get ya' is all."

"Yeah, neither do I." I shrugged and Jack must have found something funny because he snickered. "But what is it that you don't get?"

Dean shrugged. "I mean, I know you get rattled; Felix scares you and I get that. But you just take  everything else  in stride! How do you do that? I just- I don't get it."

"I told you this, Dean. I'm good at hiding my reactions to things and if I can't hide them then I use them to gain sympathy from others." I glanced at Jack, catching his eye. "At least, that's what I do until I can really trust somebody."

Jack smiled a little and tugged me closer into his side. He had been acting sorta weird since we'd all piled into the Impala for the drive into town. Jack had wrapped his arm around my waist and held me tight against him, almost as if he was keeping me away from the trench-coated angel on my other side. He kept shooting Cas these weird glances and I couldn't help but wonder what they could be about. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought that Jack was being possessive.

Not that I was complaining about our close proximity or anything! Jack was really warm and winter in Kansas was, shall we say, not. Who was I to turn down free cuddles? Although those cuddles did kinda make me want to sink my teeth into him. He smelled so sweet and his skin looked so frustratingly soft. Maybe one of these nights I could sneak into his room and get a taste. That could make things better, I mean, half the torture of being around him was the curiosity of not knowing.

"And we're here!"

Sam's voice knocked me out of that potentially devastating train of thought and I followed Jack out of the car. Okay, ' followed ' is the wrong word. Jack pretty much just pulled me out of the car with him. He didn't let go of me. Weird.

The town of Lebanon, Kansas reminded me quite a bit of Copper Harbor. The main difference was that Lebanon was bigger... A lot bigger. The buildings were small and friendly, made of red brick and wooden doors and windows with glass that bulged out at the bottom. The streetlamps were iron and curled over the street as they should and there were planter boxes underneath display windows. The whole town just breathed in a way that said ' stay awhile '.

"It's Christmas time," I noted aloud, "I almost forgot."

There were colorful lights wrapped around poles and wreaths hung on doors with bells that jingled when they opened. There were even speakers placed outside that filled the air with all sorts of holiday music and I felt a smile split across my face as I started to sing along.

"Oh, no. Don't tell me you sing too," Dean chuckled as he held open the door of a discount clothing store. I was about to say something witty as a response but Jack beat me to the chance.

"She does! She sang to me last night," He said, smiling down at me. Dean raised an eyebrow, glancing at the acute lack of space between us. Jack noticed and let go of my waist.

"Oh yeah? And how was that?" Dean asked, smirking.

Jack's brow's furrowed and his head tilted as he eyed me like he was trying to remember something.

"It was..."

' Please don't say anything that'll get me dead! ' I pleaded silently.

"It was  magical ."

Sam, Dean, and Cas all shared a strange look, but before anything more could be said, the shopkeeper waltzed in from the back room.

Her silver hair was cut short and straight with the ends tucked around her chin. She was a short, thin woman probably in her late forties or early fifties with a not-a-hair-out-of-place sort of attitude. I would bet twenty bucks that her name was Christie spelled with a 'Ch' that she would be sure to remind us of. Click-clacking her way over to us in a pair of atrociously hot pink six-inch heels, the woman regarded us over the tops of her thick, rectangular glasses which hung on a chain around her neck. She flicked her eyes over each person individually in a way that reeked of silent judgment and when her eyes landed on me I was tempted to flip her off. When she was satisfied that she knew everything there was to know about us, the woman fixed a painfully fake smile onto her face and greeted us, speaking slowly like we were uneducated simpletons.

"Well, hi there all! My name's Christie with a 'Ch', you know, like in 'Christmas'? What are your names?"

Called it.

"Hey, Christie. I'm Dean, this is my brother Sam, standing really creepily behind me is Cas, and this one here is his son Jack." Dean pointed as he introduced everyone, sounding annoyed as if this was his tenth time meeting Christie which it probably was. "We're lookin' to get Marty here some warm clothes. Got anything, ah, petite?"

I shot Dean a pointed look to which he just smirked. It wasn't my fault he and his brother were so freakishly tall. In front of us, Christie ignored his request to do business and kept on chatting.

"Sam and Dean Winchester? I remember you, boys. Why didn't you tell me one of you had a daughter as pretty as this little vision? Is she yours, Sam? She looks a bit like you," She cooed, stroking my hair as if that was a socially acceptable thing to do. I almost bit her hand off but smiled instead. Her question caught Sam off guard.

"No, no. Marty's not my daughter," He chuckled nervously, shaking his head.

"Oh! My mistake. Is she yours, Dean?"

"What? No! O'corse not!"

I nearly smacked my face with my palm. Were these guys  trying  to look like kidnappers? Considering their age and the way I was dressed, oh yeah, this totally looked like a kidnapping.

Christie frowned and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to her side. Jack reached for me but Christie pulled me further away, glaring at him.

"Oh, dear me. I shouldn't be calling the police on you boys now, should I?"

Sam and Dean glanced at each other, trying to come up with some sort of excuse and Christie was already pulling out her phone. A very Isaac-like idea popped into my brain. I rolled my eyes and huffed, pushing away from Christie.

"Ugh! Why do you guys have to be so weird about it? I mean, if you have to dress like child abductors then you could at least  try  not to act like it!" I turned to Christie, shaking my head. "Yeah, sorry about them, ma'am. It's a really long and scandalous story and you probably don't wanna hear the details, but I'm not being kidnapped, I promise."

Christie perked up at the mention of scandal, she was probably just itching for some juicy gossip to spread around at one of her knitting meetings.

"Well, I should probably hear the whole story just to make sure," She said, almost buzzing with excitement.

"Are you sure?" I baited, "It's pretty bad!"

"Oh, you can tell me, hon! I won't tell anybody."

Liar, liar, pants on fire!

"Alright, so long story short, my mom is Cas's aunt and she's a slut who cheated on my dad, who's a straight-up loser. So, he only found out that I'm not his just last week and filed for divorce within two days because he finally has an excuse to get rid of me now. Except, surprise-surprise, my mom never wanted me either because I'm a useless mistake and so they both threw me to child support which Cas here saved me from because he's a decent human being!" I finished my rant of bull crap and inhaled deeply. Christie had bought every word.

"Aw, you poor baby! You get a discount, sweetheart, and if one of your parents ever comes in here I'm gonna wring their neck!" She continued babbling as she led us through the store while Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack all stared at me like I had eight heads. I smirked at them and shrugged a little.

Five hours and six oversized bags of clothes later and we were out of that store. We crossed the street and collapsed on some benches outside a diner, remaining silent for a while.

"That was worse than Hell!" Dean complained, tugging his boots off and rubbing his sore feet. "If I had to hear that woman talk for one more minute, I might have slit her throat!"

The rest of us made noises of agreement. Well, all except Jack who just shrugged.

"I thought she was nice," He said, though he too looked worn out.

"That wasn't nice, Jack. That was prying," Cas corrected him.

"Yeah," I agreed, "I wasn't sure how much more crap I could spout about your aunt, Cas!"

"Yeah, um, speaking of," Sam cut in, "You had that whole thing pretty handled, Marty. Where'd all that stuff come from anyway?"

"I've been on my own since I was nine, Sam," I lied, lowering my head and picking at my jeans.

"I get that, but-"

" Since I was  nine ,  Sam ." I glanced up to see Sam's mouth form into an 'O' of understanding. I looked away again, quieting my voice. "I know how to make up excuses that people won't question."

"Ah."

"You are  quite  the liar, Martina," Cas spoke up with a tilt of his head. The way his words curled in on one another made it impossible for me to tell whether his statement was one of praise, suspicion, or both. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Jack eyeing Cas, his lip curled in a scowl that looked unnatural when displayed by his gentle features.

I didn't look up at the angel sitting in front of me. A tight smile tugged at the corner of my lips as I tapped the pads of my fingers against my knees.

"You don't trust me do you, Castiel?" I asked, trying to keep my voice neutral. Cas sighed and shook his head; I watched Jack's hands clench into fists.

"No. No, I don't," He said, eyeing Jack's reactions as well.

"Why not?" I still didn't look up, feeling the angel's gaze shift to me.

"You lie so easily to others, and you do it very well. What's to stop you from doing the same to us?" For once, Castiel's tone didn't seem accusatory. He sounded truly curious and... understanding almost. His words were something close to gentle.

"Nothing, really," I answered honestly, "For five years, it was just  me . I had Isaac but I still felt  so  alone . I felt so small and scared and  purposeless . All I did was run and hide, it was like I was just waiting to die. So, when you guys offered me protection, I couldn't say no. I couldn't say no, even if I didn't actually need it."

"Didn't need it? What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked, leaning his elbows on his knees. I shrugged.

"You guys saw a small kid getting attacked in that alleyway and you helped her out. You just made the same mistake that everybody does."

"And what mistake is that?" Cas pressed, squinting curiously.

"Thinking that small means the same thing as helpless," I took a deep breath, shaking my head, "It doesn't, and I'm not. I told you I was clever, you just never stopped to think about what that meant. What you guys don't seem to get is that I survived for  five years . I was just scared that if you knew then you would leave me there alone and I- I just couldn't."

"So, you lied to us?" Sam asked with a frown. I nodded.

"I did. I lied to you and I'm sorry."

"We wouldn't have turned you away, Marty," Jack said, softly grasping my hand.

"I think somewhere deep down I knew that. There were just these things I had to do to survive and I was so scared that if you knew about them, then you wouldn't want me. So, I lied. Because the only thing I could think about was how I just couldn't be alone anymore." I laughed in spite of myself.

Jack nodded solemnly before glancing up and getting distracted by something across the street. His face lit up as he let go of my hand and stood, bounding towards whatever had caught his attention. I didn't bother to watch him.

"Look, Marty," Dean sighed and shook his head a bit, "You seem like a pretty sweet kid and I like you, a lot. Now, I may not know everything about your past, but I know from experience that the only thing that can make up for your mistakes is trying your best to do the right thing now. I wanna trust you, Marty. We all do. But if you keep all these secrets, then we can't do that. So, can you promise us just one thing?"

"Name it."

"No more lies?"

"No more lies," I lied.

"Good." Sam smiled. "So, is there anything else we should know about you?"

There were so many things. None of which I could tell.

"Well, there might be one thing."

"What?"

I opened my mouth to speak but I was cut off by a flower being presented before my eyes. The flower was a rose and the rose was white. It was gorgeous and perfect, there wasn't a single flaw on any of the smooth petals and it was just one step short of full bloom.

There was a hand attached to the rose and I plucked the flower from his fingers, twirling it between my own.

"What's this for?" I asked as I looked up at Jack who beamed down at me the way I remember summer sunshine being like.

"It reminds me of you," He said simply.

"Why?" I chuckled.

"Um, because you said that you pretended to be innocent and helpless because you thought that nobody would want you if they knew otherwise. So, um, I-" He gestured to the rose's thorn-covered stem. "Well, t-this one has spiky-things on it."

"So, it does." I nodded, giggling at his strange explanation. Jack flashed me a grin and continued.

"At first, I thought it was just beautiful, like you, and I didn't see the spiky things until I picked it up. When I touched it, it hurt, but I took it anyway. See, it's still beautiful - even with the spikes - I still wanted it. So, I want you to know that even if you have spikes, I still want you."

Around. There was an ' around ' tagged on the end of that sentence, he just forgot to put it there. Right?

"Thank you, puppy. That was very sweet," I said, catching a glimpse of the flower cart across the street where he must have gotten it. The cart was unattended. In fact, the whole street was oddly empty. It was Christmas time, the street shouldn't have been empty, but it was and that gave me a very bad feeling.

Jack smiled so innocently it made me want to cry.

"You're welcome!"

"You paid for this though, right?"

Jack's face immediately told me the answer. "Is it not for free?"

"Nope, you stole it. You're criminal now," I joked.

"Oh." Jack frowned for a moment. Then he shrugged. "Well, when we grow up, I'll buy you one."

I had the chance to say something witty, so naturally, I replied with:

"Cool."

I mentally slapped myself. Of course, he says something cute and all I say back is ' cool '. My brain hates me.

I felt my cheeks heating up, so I ducked my head down. Deciding that we were in a shaded enough spot, I tugged the light-teal-colored baseball cap off my head. (I had been using it to hide my face from the harsh burning of the sunlight that drifted over the town.) The cap had a manatee sewn on the front and was one of the few things I had brought with me from my past life on the sunny shores of Florida. Laying the hat in my lap, I pulled my thick black braid over my shoulder and proceeded to weave the rose's stem into it loosely. Then, I flipped my hair back and smashed the baseball cap back on my head.

Meanwhile, the angel boy just smiled down at me as if he  hadn't  just said some of the kindest words I'd heard in five years. My cheeks felt like they were on fire and suddenly my shoes were extraordinarily interesting.

My attention was drawn away, however, when out of the corner of my eye, I watched Cas's back go ramrod straight. His head tilted to the side like he was listening for something, his eyes narrowing to one-quarter squint power.

"Cas?" Dean called to his friend. More like  their  friend, really, Sam and Jack were his family too. I guess I couldn't bring myself to call the angel my friend while I was lying to his face about everything I was.

"There are monsters somewhere here, I can sense them," Castiel said quietly. Jack stopped and tilted his head like Cas, focusing.

"I sense them too," He reported, glancing at me, "They're vampires." I sat up a little straighter.

"Put your shoes back on, Dean. You cannot rest while enemies are nearby," I said, smiling wryly and letting an edge of nervousness creep into my voice.

"How many are there?" Dean demanded, already taking charge.

Cas squinted harder. "Seven... Wait, no. There are eight."

"Where? C-can you sense that?" Sam asked.

"No-" Cas shook his head before turning to his surrogate son. "-But Jack can."

Cas sent a small nod to Jack who nodded back and directed his gaze upward, stretching out a hand. His eyes flicked into glistening gold and I could feel my hair stand on end as the air became charged with raw power. For a split second, I almost thought I saw the outline of feathered appendages sprouting from the boy's back. Then, Jack's eyes flickered back into their crystalline blue and I shook the after image away. Whatever I had thought I'd seen was gone before I could register it.

"There are two of them hiding in an alley about thirty yards that way-" He pointed to the left "-and there are five more. They're waiting for an ambush? I think? They're over there. In that really suspicious-looking grey van parked four cars down." He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder and I leaned over to glance at the car. Jack had been right, the van totally looked like it belonged to the mafia or something.

"What about the last one?" Dean pressed, his eyes shifting around to examine his environment. Jack shook his head.

"I-I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I mean, I can sense it - I know it's here somewhere - but it's cloudy. I can't tell exactly where; it's like it's everywhere and nowhere at the same time."

Jack called the vampire an ' It '. Of course, he did.  It  was a vampire.  It  was a monster. What else does one call a monster? What else does one call  a thing  like that? After all, that's all  it  was; that's all  I  was. A  thing . Not a someone, not a person, not a  friend . A  thing . A  pest , a  nuisance , a  parasite  to be eradicated. Skrew all Jack's kind words and endearing actions; they didn't mean anything! He could never really love me back. It was only a matter of time before he realized that. It was only a matter of time before he started calling me ' It '.

' How long will that be, I wonder .'

I was pulled from my thoughts by a scream. It rang, high and sharp, and it echoed off the brick buildings.

"HELP! HELP ME!" A woman's voice cried.

"Max?" Jack whispered, his eyes going wide. I didn't know who that was and apparently, neither did Dean as he flung his strong arm out in front of Jack who began to sprint towards the sound.

"Who?" Dean demanded. Jack struggled to push past him but Dean wouldn't budge.

"That-that's Max! She's my friend! Those things have her! She needs our help!" He explained impatiently. Dean's face scrunched up.

"Wait, wait. Max? Teenage girl? White hair? 'Bout yea high?" The elder Winchester made a height comparison with his hand and Jack rolled his eyes.

"Yes! Now, come on!" Jack huffed.

"Oh ho! So that's why you're not going for abandonment issues over there?" Dean teased. Letting go of Jack, they started towards the sound of screaming. "Does Jack-Jack have a girlfriend?"

Jack stopped and faced Dean, confusion written across his brow. "Max already has a girlfriend."

"Oh."

The two dorks were brought back to reality when that Max girl screamed again.

"SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP!"

Her voice was followed by another, a boy this time.

"HEY! HEY! HELP! ANYBODY! HELP US!"

"That's Eliot!" Jack took off down the street at a full-on sprint. Dean, Sam, and Cas hot on his heels.

"No, no! Please, go on ahead without me," I muttered, sarcastically, "Save the damsel! I'll just... wait here then."

Huh. Max and Eliot. I felt like those names should be switched around, but then again, I go by Marty, so who am I to judge?

Out of nowhere, I felt a stinging pain in my shoulder. A syringe. I knew the feeling well. Before I could react, the pain suddenly doubled, rapidly spreading all throughout my body like a viral infection.

Dead man's blood.

I whipped my head to the left to meet an all too familiar pair of brown eyes.

"What's bouzzin' gousin?" An accented voice jeered.

Then everything was black.

***

The vampires were taken care of rather easily. Jack felt like a Jedi Knight as he suspended them in the air, stringing them up like the murderers they were. They didn't even struggle. Like convicts dangling from a hangman's noose, the vampires knew as soon as they saw Jack's glowing eyes, that their deaths were nigh at hand. Jack thrust out a hand and caught them in the pulsing rings of his grace, a sound like drum beats underwater reverberating off the alley walls. With a grin, the boy clenched his hand into a fist and the monsters splintered into not but dust.

With the threat eradicated, the glow in Jack's eyes flickered out and he turned to the high-schoolers who he considered his friends.

"Hello, Max! Hello, Eliot! It's alright, you're safe now," He chimed, nodding to each kid in turn and lifting his hand in greeting, though he refrained from actually waving it. Upon seeing him raise his hand, the kids shared a look of sheer terror and backed away. Jack frowned at their reactions, lowering his hand. "No, no! Wait, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you!"

Max and Eliot paused, trying to determine whether or not they believed him.

Unbeknownst to Jack, Max and Eliot didn't actually like him. ( After finding out about the supernatural, the teens were disappointed when the Winchesters refused to tell them more about spirits and monsters. Enter Jack, and his unfortunate lack of talent in terms of keeping his trap shut. ) Max and Eliot had only hung out with Jack once, and that was exclusive because they knew that he lived with the Winchesters. Against his better judgment, Jack had shown them a glimpse of his powers and though they thought his telekinesis was cool, the teens had agreed not to search the boy out again.

There was just something about Jack that unsettled them, frightened them,  terrified  them. Just like every other human who had seen what Jack could do; deep down, they were all afraid of him. Because he wasn't normal, he wasn't right,  he wasn't human .

"What did you just do to those guys?" Eliot asked, staring with eyes as wide as quarters. Jack thought it would be better not to answer that question.

"It's okay! They were monsters," He reassured.

"He disintegrated them," Cas deadpanned. Dean shot the angel a look. "What?"

"YOU DISINTEGRATED THEM?!" Max screeched loud enough to make Jack flinch.

"Yes?"

"You didn't just, like, proof em' away or something?" Eliot added, a little quieter.

"Um, no. No, I didn't."

"COULD YOU DO THAT TO US?!"

"Most likely, yes," Jack answered, thoughtfully, "I've never tried it on humans, though. But I would never hurt you guys, you're my friends!"

"You're really freaky, dude," Elliot said, shaking his head slowly, "And, like, not in a good way."

"I know." Jack hung his head. They were afraid of him. They hated him. He shouldn't have expected otherwise.

"I'm never gonna be able to un-see that," Max muttered, staring at the cement.

That gave Jack an idea, maybe there was a way to undo this.

"I know you're probably freaking out, but I think I know a way to make it better," He said, trying to sound reassuring.

"Nah, man. I don't want any of your freaky Aquaman powers used on me!" Eliot shook his head.

"No powers." Jack smiled despite how badly their words hurt. "I promise."

His stomach twisted with the lie, but they didn't need to know that. Max and Eliot shared another glance.

"Okay..." They agreed, hesitantly.

"I have a friend. Her name is Marty," Jack explained, leading them back to the bench where his family had left the girl. "She's right here!"

Except she wasn't.

That's when the Nephilim's phone rang.

It was a picture message. Marty sat unconscious tied to a chair in some shack. The text read:

"I really would hate to incur the wrath of the Winchesters, so consider this a ransom note. All you have to do is find her in time. Tick-tock. ~ Felix "

Max peered over Jack's shoulder.

"Hey! I know that place!"

***

"Welcomb back to the land of the livinc' where the livinc' are, in fact, dead!"

Okay, so she knew I was awake. I kept my eyes closed anyway and canvassed my new environment. Having grown up blind, I didn't need my eyes to see.

My hands were bound with zip-ties to the arms of the splintering wooden chair I sat in. The space around me was large but not cavernous as there was no echo. This was a shack of some kind judging by how the metal panels making up the roof clanged against one another in the wind. The shack was also dark to protect vampire skin from the sun, and in winter, no sun meant freezing temperatures. There was a weight covering my lap; someone had given me a blanket. I caught the scent of hay among other less pleasurable farm smells. I could hear the shifting of five pairs of feet surrounding me in a circle. This was going to be fun.

Opening my eyes, at last, I was met with the sight of a young woman around the age of twenty-two, lounging on a few hay bails. She was long, lean, and muscular with a round face displaying a crooked smile. I could see the end of a tie-dyed shirt sticking out beneath the fluffy black coat she wore. Her green and purple hair was chopped short in a punk rocker pixie cut that stuck out in at least five different directions. If I wasn't mistaken, a few of the strands appeared to be scorched on the ends. Her cheekbones were low and prominent and plenty rosy. She had full lips and a button nose that was home to two tiny diamond studs. The woman wore her dark green eyeshadow with plum-colored lipstick unapologetically. Her eyes, which were set deeper than most, turned down at the corners and sparkled with mischief. They were accompanied by thick dark eyebrows, the left of which had apparently gotten a third piercing since I had last seen her.

"Ah hah! So she  is  alive!" She said, her thick Dutch accent coating her words, "I was begininc' to worry that you had follen asleep... Again."

I shrugged despite my restraints.

"Yeah, well I can only sleep-in so long."

"You never were a morninc' person, were you?" The woman sighed, shaking her head. I watched her arrow-head pendant as it swung back and forth from her neck.

"Nope."

"And dat's why we're frien'ds!" She chirped.

"We're not friends, Elwyn." Okay, so maybe that was a bit harsh but it was better than pretending like everything was fine and dandy between us. Elwyn faked a gasp.

"You used my fuoll name! You muss be serious. Why so c'old,  mijn lieve ?" She asked, tilting her head.

"Spending five years as a walking corpse will do that to you," I answered, smiling thinly. "Why are you here, Elwyn? What's this act for? We both know that if I wanted to walk out of here right now, I could do so without a scratch on me. What do you want?"

"You might 'ave been able to woltz out of 'ere if you had a full tanc', dat's true." Elwyn nodded, in agreement. Then she tilted her head and frowned at me with pouty lips. "But you're quite weak now. I'm sorry, hones'ly. I t'ought dat you'd be able to 'andle dat much dead man's blood but you still look pale an' shaiky!"

"Well, I've always been pale," I replied, narrowing my eyes. Elwyn sat up, crossing her legs and putting a fist to her chin. Her brows furrowed and she looked at me with what seemed to be genuine concern for my well-being.

"How lon'g has it been since you fed,  liefste ?" She asked in a gentler tone.

"A little over two weeks," I answered honestly.

"Two weeks?! Nothinc'? Not even somethinc' piffy, like a ra'bbit?"

I shook my head and shrugged.

"Oh,  jij arme ding ! I know you ha'te it, but how could you do dis' du yourself?!" She cried, shaking her head in dismay. I looked away. Deep down I knew that Elwyn really did care about me, albeit in her own strange way. I was being harsh with her and that wasn't exactly fair. She was Felix's prisoner too.

"I more than hate it, Ellie," I said, speaking softer now, "But I just couldn't find a good opportunity. Besides, I can take it."

Elwyn rolled her chocolate-brown eyes.

"No you gan't, Mardina! Look at yourself! You're runninc' on foomes and it shows!" Elwyn huffed, her accident becoming more prominent as her emotion shown through. "Be hones'd wit me, dis is because of dose Win-kesters, isn't it?"

"Not exactly," I said, picking at a splinter on the wooden arm-rest. I knew the real reason and it was a stupid one. I mean, of all the ways to try to be better, starving myself to the breaking point probably wasn't the smartest. But I wanted to be good, pure. I wanted to be human. For him.

"Ah, I see." Elwyn smiled softly. "I was told aboud dat Nephilim boy, the rumors were wrong about him. I was watchinc' you two today; he's not a ragink' monster at all."

"No, he's not." I shook my head.

"He's a  zoet wezen , no?" Elwyn chuckled to herself, "Sorry, I don' know de word for it in English."

I nodded. The closest translation of her Dutch was ' sweet creature '. It fit.

"What's his name?" Elwyn asked without the slightest bit of hostility.

I smiled. "His name is Jack."

" Hou je van hem ?"

"I don't know," I said, shrugging. Elwyn smiled knowingly.

"Yes, you do. And if what I saw was any indication, he feels the same."

"No, he doesn't, Ellie," I sighed and gestured to the child body I was trapped in. "He can't. Just look at me! I'm just a sister to him and if he knew what I really am then he'd hate me!"

"So, dat's what dis is about." Elwyn nodded with understanding.

"What do you mean?"

"You t'ink yourself bad, so you want du be good for him. Dat's why you 'aven't been feeding," She explained, sounding matter-of-fact.

"Yeah, I guess so." I looked away.

"Well, das not good!" Elwyn leaned forward and cut the zip-ties that held me to the chair. Then she reached behind her and fished around a bit until she pulled her arm back and held it out to me, a blood bag resting in her palm. "Have a snack now and your  engel jongen  will never know!"

I glanced at it for a moment but it didn't take much to break my willpower. I snatched the bag from her hand and ripped it open, downing it like there was no tomorrow.

"You gan slow down,  geliefde.  I brough't more." Elwyn chuckled.

"You did?" I asked looking up.

"I had a sneakinc' suspission dat dis was goin'c du 'appen." She shrugged, tossing me another bag which I ripped into also. She reached behind her again, this time tugging around a small cooler full of the stuff which she pushed over to me. "I admire your willpower, Mardina. I don t'ink I'd have de kinda strengt for what you're pullinc'. How'd you do it?"

"Do what?" I asked, halfway through my second bag.

"Live with dose 'unters day in an' day out!" She exclaimed, "Esspecialy dat e ngel jongen ! Da kid smells like garamel chocolate! I envy your gontrol. How'd you stan' so close to him? I was eighty-feet away and I gould 'ardly gontrol myself!"

Well, at least I wasn't the only one.

"I gotta keep up apperences, Ellie. You know all about that." I knew I sounded guarded, but this subject made me uncomfortable.

"But you gould still get a taste. I know you gan make pepole forget t'ings."

I sighed, finishing my second bag and grabbing another.

"You know, Elwyn? You almost got me." I smiled, shaking my head.

"What do you mean?" She asked, feigning obliviousness.

"For a second there, I almost thought you were still my friend."

"I  am  your friend," Elwyn insisted, "I defied Felix for you!"

"Then you ran right back to him the second I turned my back."

"I had too," She spoke, her voice regretful.

"No! No you didn't! You  chose  too. You chose  him  over  me !"

" Hij is mijn vader !  Ik moest !" Elwyn cried. Tears brimmed in her eyes.

"I don't care!" I shouted back, "We were free! We both could have been free! But no, you chose to leave me all alone in the middle of the woods!"

"I knew you'd be fine," She whispered. I shook my head, pressing my lips together.

"No, you didn't," I growled. "Do you have  any idea  how long I wandered for?!"

"You made it out."

"Not in one peace. I lost things in there, Elwyn." I shook my head. "You left me there." Then, I let out a harsh, rasping, laugh and spat my next words. "And for what? To run right back into the arms of the father that never even loved you!"

Elwyn hung her head. " Het spijt me zeer.  I'm so sorry."

"You should be," I said, cooly. "Why do you always run back to him? And don't give me any of that ' he's my father ' bull crap."

"I don know. But what I do know is dat I am still your friend."

"Right." I nodded, smiling through tight lips. "Why are you really here, Elwyn?"

She took a deep breath, wiping away the tears that had slipped down her face, and looked up. "I game 'ere to save you," She said.

"Excuse me?"

"From dose 'unters!" She explained, "Felix told me dat you were with de Win-kesters and I begged him to let me c'ome rescue you. An' he said yes! He's so much kinder den he used to be; he promised dat he wouldn' make you do anyt'ing you didn' want to!"

Elwyn smiled at me and took my hand.

"Oh, yeah?" I scoffed, "Then what was that phone call, huh? What? Is killing my friend supposed to win me over?"

"Hey, I said dat Felix is kinder den he was." Elwyn sighed. "He's still Felix though. He was tryinc' to intimidate de Win-kesters into letting you go."

"I'm not being held hostage!" I insisted.

"But you are still in danger!" Her eyes softened, "Dey will kill you if dey find out what you are."

"I know."

"C'ome with me," She pleaded, "C'ome with me, an' Jack will never find out about you. C'ome with me an' he'll never break your heart."

I paused. Was there really any chance?

No. There was no chance. No chance that Felix could ever change. It was one in a million. There was no chance and  no choice .

"If you're really here to save me, then what's with your little posse?" The five other vampires had been unusually quiet for idiots of their caliber.

Elwyn shrugged. "In case t'ings get messy."

"We'll, then you better plan on things getting messy because I'm not coming with you," I said with a smirk.

"Why not?"

"Because Felix wants me dead, Elwyn, and that's not going to change."

The woman's face fell.

"I know you didn' mean to kill Madra," She whispered, gently. I shook my head and frowned.

"I didn't kill her," I hissed, "Felix killed his soulmate, not me."

"And he sees dat now. He knows dat it wasn' your fault, dat you couldn't gontrol it. He realises dat and he forgives you!" She smiled a little.

"And how many times did he have to beat you before he realized that?"

"C'ome on, Mardina!" She sighed, though I could see the pain her eyes hid. "Dis is an olive branch! Jus' take it!"

I shook my head and I laughed. I laughed long and loud and hard. I laughed like a girl gone mad. I had told Elwyn that I had lost something when she had left me in those woods, I wanted her to know what it was.

"No," I said. Then I stretched my bloody lips into a mad, humorless grin, "I don't want your olive branch."

"Why not? Its your best chance! Don you want peace?"

"Peace?  PEACE?! " I spat, "You know what he did to me, what he made me! You think after every thing he took away, that I would want  peace ? You think after what I did, Felix would offer me peace?"

"I don't want peace," I said, beginning the rhyme I'd heard when I was still alive, "I want war and I want my enemy's head hung like a boar. I didn't come for money and I don't want his crown, see, I've come to burn his kingdom down. So, come one, come all, to take a dance with the dead and stain the petals of the white roses red."

"Mardina, please!"

The other vampires in the room shifted, readying for a fight. But I was faster.

Launching myself from that splintering wooden chair, I threw my body forward towards the stack of haybales Elwyn had previously sat on. I had to jump to avoid the vamp that tried to grab my legs and that pushed me forward a little too much but it wasn't something I couldn't compensate for. Landing on my hands, I shoved my body up, and over the hay bales in a vamp strength enhanced backflip. I landed on my feet and flipped my hair back. The shed's door was in front of me. Sure, it was locked but the lock was only one of those slidey metal bars which are super easy to break and if I was going to fight five vamps at once, it would be wise to keep my back to the door that way I might be able to be thrown through the door and land outside instead of pushed into a dead-end wall. Also, if I was going to fight five vamps at once, I was going to need the proper tool for the job. Beside the door, my eyes landed on a tool rack. I spied my weapon of choice. This was going to be fun .

It was one of those weird four-prong rakes that I'm not completely sure is called a rake. A label on the shaft said it was a soil cultivator but I didn't care what it was called because I was fighting for my life. The four prongs were about five inches long and although the shed wasn't new, the equipment in there thankfully wasn't that old, so the four steel prongs were still wicked sharp.

I ducked, dodging the arms of another vamp before rushing for the tool rack. Another vamp sprang in front of me, blocking my way and I paused. This one had bleach-blond chin-length hair. I knew him. I remembered him from when I was in Felix's cage. This one's name was Boyd and he liked to touch things that didn't belong to him. I couldn't fight back then, but I could now.

"How's it goin', Boyd?"

"So, you remember me, do ya?" He jeered, beginning to circle me like a predator circling its prey. Little did he know, he was not the predator here.

"Oh, I remember you alright. See, Boyd, I'm not a good little girl-" He used to call me that, "- not anymore. I don't do what I'm supposed to. See, when it comes to bastards like you, I don't forgive and I most certainly don't forget."

"Well, I guess its a real shame that I forgot your name, then. You were one of my favorites!" He laughed, "Only thing I remember 'bout you now is how loud you used to scream."

I gave him a cold smile and lunged straight for his legs. Grasping his ankle, I twisted and pulled, sending him crashing to the floor. Then I lifted his leg, rolled over, and slammed my arm down on his knee. There was an ear-splitting snap and he screeched like an animal.

"Who's screaming now, Boyd?" I taunted. I sprung up and stomped down on Boyd's throat, crushing his windpipe. As a vampire, that wouldn't kill him which was good because I wasn't done with him yet. I was going to make him hurt. Why would I want peace when I could have revenge? Revenge felt good.

I rolled away when a red-haired vamp took a swing at my head. I bolted for the four-prong rake and brandished it the way you would a staff. The rake was long, about three inches taller than me, but I easily found the balance point. I spun it around in my hand as I circled the other four vamps.

"Mardina, we gan talk aboud dis!" Elwyn tried, grabbing my arm. I threw my head back and laughed.

"No, Ellie. We can't!" I flipped the rake over, using the blunt end to whack Elwyn upside the head with supernatural strength and speed. She was knocked out. "Stay down. You're not like them and I don't want to kill you."

The red-haired vamp ran at me again and I spun out of the way, flipping the shaft again and swinging it down as he passed me. Two of the prongs buried themselves in the base of the vamp's spine, judging by the position, between two vertebrae. He howled and tried to claw at my arm but I easily avoided him. A female vamp shrieked for her friend and lunged at me from the left.

I rolled my eyes. Pushing on the shaft of my rake I distanced myself from the redhead vamp and ducked away from the female's fangs. I reached out and grabbed her shirt, using it to pull her down towards me. I slammed my head into hers once, then twice to daze her. She stumbled as I let go and switched to grabbing the hair at the base of her neck.

"Night-night, cupcake!" I chirped. Then I slammed her face into my knee and tossed my weight over her shoulder, sliding my arm around her neck. I pulled backward.

That blissful crack was the sound of her neck snapping. Jumping up and using the wall to gain some momentum, I twisted the vamp's head all the way around. It was easy with nothing but tissue and tendons in my way. Her body dangled limp from where I held her by the hair, so I opened my mouth, letting my fangs extend, and I bit her head off.

The redhead vamp with my rake still stuck in him cried out and tried in vain to reach me again. It was pathetic, really. Grinning, I wrenched the rake upward, severing the vamp's spinal cord and pulling the prongs along with two of his vertebrae straight through his back. He fell to the ground, paralyzed from the waist down because two of his bones were missing.

Just as I was about to remove his dreadful cranium from his miserable shoulders, one of the other vamps jumped at me, managing to rake his grotesquely long fingernails along my back. I released no cry of pain as he tore through my skin before grabbing me by my shoulders and hurtling my body at the wall. My face slammed against a pole built into the metal siding as the rest of my body just hit the wall. I landed on the ground with a jarring impact that I was sure had broken a few things. But I couldn't feel the pain. I was too focused on my rage. I was seeing red, and for the first time, I welcomed it without fear.

"Not so tough now are ya?" He called out.

My body was broken and yet I stood. I felt invincible.

"I know I'm not tough," I laughed. I wiped away the blood that was dripping from my mouth and nose, looking up to smile pleasantly at the vamp. "But you wanna know what I am?"

"What?"

"I'm insane, and that tends to make up for the rest."

The vamp charged me but I twisted around and Spartan kicked him into the wall. Then, using a few hay bails to step on, I vaulted into the air and brought the rake down on the vamp's head, piercing through his skull and embedding the prongs in his brain. The spray was a little gross but I didn't care. He deserved it.

"You're next, pumpkin," I called to the last vampire left standing in the room.

I crossed over to him and he managed to block my first two blows but then I smashed the blunt end of the rake into his face a few times and he was unconscious. I heard a groan and turned on my heel.

"And that brings us back to you, Boydie-Boo!" I cheered, stepping on the paralyzed vamp's hand as I passed him. I leaned over Boyd who was still on the ground, gasping for air. "Hello, sweetie. How are we today?"

All Boyd did was gasp and choke, he couldn't speak as his vocal cords had been stepped on.

"Aw! Did you get a boo-boo?" I pouted at him.

Then I grabbed Boyd by the throat at lifted him into the air. He struggled against my grasp but could do nothing. He couldn't even beg.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Can't you scream for me?"

He shook his head and spat at me. So, I threw him into a wall. Boyd fought to stand, using the wall to stagger upright.

"Come on, Boyd! Fight! Are you going to let yourself be beaten by a girl?!" I taunted him and pulled on the fear that was already constricting his mind. Revenge felt so good.

"You-you're not a girl," He panted, "You're a monster!"

I hummed, tapping my chin with my finger.

"I guess history will have to be the judge of that, now won't it, buddy-Boyd?" I dragged my rake along the ground, though all the blood of his friends. There was a wonderful metallic grating noise as the prongs scrapped across the concrete.

"Please don't! Please! I'll do anything!" It felt good to hear him beg.

"Unfortunately," I continued, "I don't think you'll be around to plead your case!" I hefted the rake.

"No! PLEASE!"

"Bye-bye, Boydie-boo!"

I swung the rake upward with all my might and with a sickening crunch I rammed its prongs up through his jaw. I said I wanted him to suffer. Pulling him by the prongs in his face I brought his screaming form over to the tractor sitting at the back of the room. I rammed the shaft of the rake through two spokes of one of the tractor's wheels. All it took was the flip of a leaver to send the wheels spinning.

Turn, turn, turn and scream, scream, scream, then a nice snap, crackle, pop, and then suddenly, Boyd's head and body were two separate objects. I was very happy. Then, the random vamp I'd knocked out woke up and yanked on my hair, throwing me over his shoulder.

I tried to land on my feet but failed, tripping and stumbling backward. I landed on my back and scrambled to get up. As I did, I noticed the perfect white rose that Jack had given to me had fallen out of my hair. It lay on the ground in a pool of blood. Jack said it reminded him of me, of the way he saw me. Well, it wasn't innocent or perfect anymore. But neither was I, so I think it matched me better now.

The vamp rushed me and tackled me to the ground, pinning my arms to my sides as he snapped at me with his fangs out.

Bang... Bang!... CRASH!

The door burst open and light from the setting sun poured in, falling directly on the last vamp's face. He cried out and tried to scamper away, like a rat from a cat.

"It's about time! You guys are late to the party!" I shouted.

"Yeah, sorry!" Dean said from the doorway, "Who would've thought there were so many old sheds in this town!"

I didn't get a chance to reply.

I felt the air prickle and spark, charging with a tambour of power that I recognized but had yet to experience to this degree. I turned my head in time to see Jack, eyes glowing gold, passing by Dean with his hand outstretched. Golden waves of energy shot from his being with a sound like drumbeats from the depths of the sea. The waves caught the fleeing vampire and time around him slowed to a crawl. He was lifted into the air and revolved to face his reckoning. The Nephilim's lips tugged into a cruel grin as he saw the fear in the vampire's eyes.

Suddenly, the pulses of energy stopped and the vampire was flung towards Jack, landing face-first in the dirt at the boy angel's feet. Jack knelt down, his expression seeming to consider the trembling, pathetic thing in front of him.

"P-please!" The monster managed to choke out. "Mercy!"

Jack looked up at me, his eyes soaking in my bloodied face. Apparently, that was all it took. Jack's eyes hardened and he turned back to the vamp.

"You. Hurt. My. Friend."

Jack grabbed the vampire's head in his hands and started to squeeze. The vamp screamed as the pressure increased until his skull just couldn't take it anymore. There was a crunch and a wet sucking noise as the vamp's head collapsed in on itself. I liked that sound.

"That dude's still alive," I said, casually jabbing my thumb at the red-haired vamp I had paralyzed. Jack turned to where I had pointed, ready to squeeze another brain out of its shell.

"Jack!" Cas called from behind him. "No!"

The Nephilim scowled at Castiel and I admired the rage I saw in his eyes. This wasn't my Jack but I liked this version just as much. No, Jack wasn't human, was he? He was more like me than I'd thought. Jack snapped his fingers and the red-haired vamp crumbled into dust. The sight was actually sort of pretty.

When Jack turned to look at me his eyes were completely soft and full of concern. There was my Jack.

"Are you afraid of me now?" He asked in a whisper.

"No," I replied flatly, shrugging my shoulders, "Why would I be?"

"I killed them." Jack hung his head. "Right in front of you."

"Am I supposed to care?" I smirked, hoping my voice didn't sound as harsh as I thought it did. I was just barely beginning to come off my rage-induced high. Jack eyed me with confusion and relief.

"You're hurt," He observed, moving over to me.

"Me? Nah! This is nothing." I gestured at the bodies scattered around the shed. "You should see the other guys!"

"Stay still." Jack placed his soft, gentle, hands on my face to examine my injuries and I felt a warm tingling as he healed them. "There. I fixed you." He whispered. It was more to himself than anything but I still heard it. It made me laugh on the inside.

Yeah, no. Nothing could fix me. I was broken beyond repair. It was my insanity that held me together. Does that sound like the sort of thing that can be fixed?

"Thanks, Jack-Jack!" I chirped, smiling brightly at him.

"You're welcome, Marty," He said quietly. Jack's eyes flicked down, focusing on my lips like he wanted something but wasn't sure how to ask.

"Um, M-Marty?" Sam's voice broke whatever spell the two of us had been under and I glanced over to him.

"Yeah?"

"Did you, uh," Sam pointed to the carnage surrounding us, watching me with weary eyes. "Did you do this?"

I shrugged, jabbing my thumb over my shoulder at the tractor. "Yeah, mostly. But the tractor helped."

"I'm guessing the tractor did that?" Dean pointed to Boyd's head with its jaw still run through with the prongs of the rake. I walked calmly over to the severed head, grasping it by the hair and pulling it off the prongs before returning with it back to the boys. Sam, Dean, and Cas all stared at me with eyes as wide as quarters as held up the head.

"Dean, this is Boyd," I said, keeping my tone as sweet as possible.

"Huh."

"Say hi to Boyd."

"Uh...Hey, Boyd..."

"Good." I grinned as if I was holding a puppy instead of a severed head. "Now let me tell you about Boyd. Boyd liked touching things that didn't belong to him. He worked for Felix and Felix liked hearing little girls scream and cry. So did Boyd. Boyd was very good at making little girls scream and cry, little girls like me. Weren't you Boyd?" I asked the mutilated cranium in my hand. I moved the severed head up and down in an enthusiastic nod, holding it by the hair as if it was a marionet.

"You were very good, yes you were!" I cheered. Then, like the flip of coin, I snapped my focus back to the Winchesters, wiping my face and tone clean of all emotion.

"So, I used a tractor to rip his head off because he deserved it and now he won't ever make another little girl cry ever again. Right, Boyd?" I asked the severed head. I grabbed the head's bloody, splintered jaw and clacked it's teeth together like you would a ventriloquist dummy. "You bet your britches!" I made the head answer, mimicking Boyd's voice.

"D-did he-" Sam stuttered. I flicked my gaze back to him, allowing all three to see the harshness in my eyes.

"Whatever you're thinking, the answer is probably yes."

"Marty?"

I turned to Dean. "What?"

"Put the head down."

I dropped Boyd's severed head.

"Come here." The hunter opened his arms and I faked a sob before accepting the hug. "You weren't gonna tell us about that, were you?" I shook my head. "It's okay, sweetheart. You're safe now."

"Thank you for not throwing me away, Dean," I said softly. The elder Winchester chuckled.

"Don't thank me, Marty. After all, how could we throw away someone so Bad-Ass?"

"Am I awesome now?" I asked.

"You were always awesome."

I laughed and the Winchesters trusted me more than ever. Their mistake.

"Dean, that one's moving," Castiel called our attention over to Elwyn, who was just waking up.

Jack was quick to react, sending a golden blast of power to throw her against the wall where he kept her pinned.

"Wait! Wait!" She cried, "I didn' 'urt Mardina! I swear!"

"Do you work for Felix?" Dean interrogated, pushing me behind him.

"He's my fah'der but I'm not like him! I want du 'elp her! I jus a messenger!"

"Whaddia say, Sammy? Should we shoot the messenger?" Dean asked, keeping his cold eyes on Elwyn.

"No! Please!" Elwyn begged, tears slipping down her face. "I didn' 'urt her!"

"You know, if we shoot the messenger, Dean, it sends one Hell of a message." Like his brother, Sam could turn on the killer inside him like a switch.

"Felix is in Floree'ida, okay? Dat's all I know, I swear!" And it was all she knew because Elwyn had never had a backbone. There was no strength in her.

"Guess its up to you, Marty," Dean said, turning to me. Elwyn looked at me with wide pleading eyes. I regarded her with ice in my own. No second chances. Monsters don't get second chances, I know I never did. I knew I never would.

"I'm your friend, Mardina! Tell dem I'm your friend!" She pleaded. I shook my head.

"You only cared about me when Felix wasn't looking." I was almost shocked by how apathetic and passionless my voice sounded. I watched her without compassion. "You were never my friend."

"No!" Elwyn screeched, "No! I 'elped you! I 'elped you when dey beat you!"

"But you never tried to stop them."

"What?! No!" She sobbed. I smiled at her slightly.

"Go tell Madra I'm sorry."

I sent Jack a nod and with a snap of his fingers, Elwyn was nothing more than flecks of grey drifting to the ground.

Turning around with a sigh, I could feel the eyes of the four others as I bent down and scooped up the rose Jack had given me. I cradled the precious flower in my hands, watching as the blood dripped from its petals in big heavy gobs. It had been perfect once. It wasn't perfect anymore. It would never be perfect again. Or perhaps it could be, just not the right way. Because the blood was oddly beautiful with the way it stained the petals and pooled in the center of the rose.

"I can get you another one," Jack spoke up, "And I'll pay for it this time!"

I turned back to him, smiling down at my little rose.

"No, its okay, Jack. It's a crooked kind of perfect. I think I like it better now."

~All the pretty girls, they find

A way to keep you on my mind

I swear I heard you singing along

Cities pass like candy stores

And you're the one

I'm looking for

And so

I'm just a boy

Who's telling a girl

That when I grow up I'll buy you a rose

When I grow up, I'll buy you a rose~

Lyrics from: Buy You A Rose by AJR

(Author's Note: You may or may not have figured it out by now, but Martina Imogene Linville is insane. MARTY IS NOT THE HERO OF THIS STORY. SHE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON. Marty also had Borderline Personality Disorder before she went insane. So, even at her most stable points in this story, she is not to be trusted. Remember, she manipulates peoples emotions. She makes them feel what she wants them to feel. Any other character's actions may or may not actually be their own. Please keep this in mind going forward.)

[tuttifuckinfruttifriday]

🎉 Happy Birthday to who?? 🎂 (or : The best birthday she ever had)

Pairings: The Voorheese’s family(MJ, Malon and Jason)

Warnings: a bit sad, cute

another banner under the cut since I love making those hehe :D

Absolutely don’t hesitate to tell me if I did any mistakes, it would be extremely appreciated!<3

—

As soon as she woke up, the only thought that MJ had was;

Oh god, not today.

Why you ask? Well, it’s her birthday even though she never celebrated it, which kind of made it hard in her whenever someone would remind her of it.

It wasn’t a big deal, but today was. After long time of no signs of life, her parents had sent her a “Happy Birthday” card bought from the nearest store with the cheap envelope that you can’t even open. It was cute and nice of them to think about her, but she almost would have preferred they didn’t, the classic message “We hope you’re having an amazing day since it’s your day and blah-blah-blah” greeted her as she opened it and closed it after, a small smile onto her face. She was so into the piece of paper that she was obvious of the small red head looking over her shoulder with a small grin. As soon as MJ turned around her daughter was already gone and tiptoeying away, a mischevious look on her face.

She never even knew when her mother's birthday was, so she would cherish this information. The first thing Malon did was look for her father, her smile widening when she saw him cutting some woods outside. Jason had his back to her, an axe in his bigger hands as he cut some woods for one of his numerous projects, his usual jacket missing even if it was chilly outside. The wind made her hug her small knitted jacket tighter to her body as she moved towards him. She liked how her father was so creative, but sometimes she thought about how he made them for her and her mother, just to see them smile...She wasn't stupid. If only she could tell him how happy her and her mom were happy with just being with him, but he wouldn't believe them anyway... Well, at least they could try to make him understand how much he means to them by doing small things for him and saying everyday that they love him <3. But going back to it, she announced her presence with more weight in her steps, knowing her father would probably die again if she sneaked up on him. When he realized she was there, he put the potential weapon down and looked down at her, crouching beside her as she hugged him. ''Did you know it's mom's birthday?... '' Malon said as she looked into his dark eyes with her sparkling and childish ones. A laugh escaped her as she saw her father's face look like he had just been slapped, his eyes wide open. To answer her question, the undead man nodded and got up, but he couldn't fool her. He couldn't fool her, and Malon knew he knew that. Even so, she still let him think that he did as she watched him pace around with his eyes moving back and forth as he was obviously thinking. It was even funnier when she asked him bluntly if he wanted her to help him find a present for her mother, a childish smile still on her face. Without even thinking about it, Jason immediately nodded with enthusiasm and despair. Both knew that they could not find a gift on their own, the reason why they immediately went to work. Still almost laughing, Malon followed her father to the small shed behind the cabin and waited for him outside when he made her sign to.

After some time of waiting and hearing him rummaging inside, the curious girl was going to ask him what he was doing until she saw him get a really big wooden chest outside, the paint chipping away as it seemed to have survived a lot. What she didn't know and nobody did is that it did survive a lot, since it's Jason's old toy chest. Obviously, there weren't toys inside. It was a surprise to his daughter when he opened it and she saw lots of things inside, mostly things that he had taken from his victims/the trespassers. There was almost anything; jewelries, brushes, broken phones, what looked like snacks but were obviously not good anymore, clothes..... A lot of things. ''Woah! Where does this come from?? '' Malon said with excitement, impressed by the things inside as she leaned down to look. Her father only made a shush motion as he winked at her, already starting to look through the heavy box at his feet on his knees. Trying to make small talks and being really curious, Malon asked her father after guessing those were things he collected; '' For how long have you been collecting those?... '' Jason stopped and looked up, frowning and making a motion to say he doesn't know, which surprises Malon even more. He didn't know for how long he had been collecting those things, but he remembered a bit that he started approximately when he saw MJ for the first time, but he wasn't going to say that to his daughter. After some times of searching, he found an almost intact compass at the bottom and took it with a small pocket knife and some other things he found, having a small idea of what to do. He had let Malon look inside too for something to give her mother, evidently making sure to show her to be careful because there was some dangerous things inside the chest. Malon chooses a cute ring that Jason didn't even knew he had with a necklace that has a small rock that her father told her is an 'aquamarine', the people who are born in march's birthstone(correct me if I'm wrong<3).

To get the dust and dirt off, Jason gave his daughter a small rag and she did just that, smiling as she saw how beautiful the jewelleries were. Before Jason closed the chest and hid it in the shed again, he took some camo pants that had a hole in them and closed the lid, remembering he had a small sewing kit on a shelf. He watched as Malon ran inside to find a cute bag to put the jewelleries inside and draw her mom a birthday card before he put all his strength into taking it back to the shed and hiding it, the things he took into his arms.

--

While they did that, MJ was wondering what her family was doing as she hadn't seen them when she got up. It was definitely strange since Malon always came to her and asked her for breakfast since Jason was mostly always working. But she hasn't even seen a glimpse of the child, not until now at least. The front door closed softly as the woman made her way to greet the person, frowning and tilting her head when she saw Malon hiding something in her pockets. ''Hey sweetheart! Where have you been? '' ''Oh! I-I was looking for daddy until I found him and helped him with..... something. '' Malon said with an hesitant pose as she almost looked panicked, obviously trying to hide something from her as she averted her eyes. ''Okay....'' MJ was going to let it pass since she didn't want to assume anything, so she only watched her speed walk to her room with a small chuckle when she heard her door close. Her pale eyes looked into the window as she saw Jason's retreating back going into the shed and closing the door. 'Why... Why are they acting so strange?? ' She thought as her brows seemed to be in a permanent frown. To change her mind, she decided that she would make a light breakfast for her and Malon, since her husband didn't need to eat and looked quite busy.

Questions raced through her mind as she cut some fresh strawberries/blueberries/raspberries (your pick :p) from the garden on the cutting board, being careful not to cut herself in the process. It was kind of weird that they decided to hide themselves on her birthday. It's not like they knew though, so she couldn't say anything. She got some crackers and yogurt (sorry if you don't/she doesn't eat that D:) and put them in a bowl as she smashed the biscuits in a small bag before putting the into the almost liquid substance and took the bowl with the fruits to the side to Malon, keeping another one of the same thing at the table as she obviously wanted to eat too. She knocked softly on her daughter's door as she called out to her, almost jumping back when she opened the door right away with a giddy smile. ''Here you go hon...'' She gave the food to her as she put it on the small table with the chair in the corner of her room. Before MJ could go though, she felt a small hand holding hers. ''I've got something for you, mom...'' A soft look came onto her face as she nodded with a small 'okay' and entered her daughter's room. ''That's nice of you, baby... What have you got for me? '' She answered back softly with a smile as she saw her pick a small pink bag from the floor. ''Here.'' The bag was placed into her hand carefully as she looked down at it with curiosity, missing Malon's childish and excited smile as she opened it carefully. There was a piece of paper that was folded in two on the top, so that's what she took and gasped as soon as she saw sparkles falling out of it, colourful colours and writing inside. It was written in blue and pink 'Happy birthday mom! ' In Malon's shaky handwriting. There were three stick figures beside each other, one that had muscles and was taller than the other and one that had a birthday hat. At the realization, MJ's eyes became glassy and happy tears fell down her face, her eyes fixed on the homemade card. ''Oh my.... Thank you so much, darling. You certainly didn't need to.....Awww....'' She instantly hugged her daughter tightly, almost forgetting the presents at the bottom until she was reminded by the girl. Her hand shakily reached inside as she ignored the fact that she didn't tell anybody it was her birthday for now as she felt two small things and gathered them in her hands. It was a beautiful shock again when she saw the jewelleries she hold in her hands, her eyes wide open before she covered her mouth with her other hand. ''Malon....'' She almost whispered as she watched the small girl hug her tightly and smile happily. ''Put them on!'' MJ carefully put the ring on as she admired it, feeling Malon's smaller hands put the necklace's chain around her neck and attach it with the clip at the back. ''W...Where did you get those?.......'' ''Daddy had them in a chest!'' The girl didn't know if she should have told her about the chest, but she did anyway. After some cuddles and hugs, MJ finally asked her how she knew it was her birthday. ''Well...I saw that you were reading a brithday card your parents gave you........'' It instantly clicked in her mind as she let out a chuckle, already guessing that she told Jason too. ''You didn't have to get me anything, I swear sweetie--'' ''I HAD to!!'' She was surprised as her daughter cut her off with a whine, hugging her tighter. ''You always get us something, you deserves so much more!'' Before she knew it, a tear fell down her face again as she buried her face into her daughter's red hair with a giant smile. ''I love you so so sooooooo much....'' ''I love you toooooo....'' MJ was trying so hard not to tear up,

until she heard the door open again.

With a chuckle and some sniffles, she let her daughter go and looked at her face as she placed some loose strands behind her small ears. ''Well, *sniffle* daddy is home...'' She said as she took Malon into her arms, smiling even more as she giggled and wrapped her small limbs around her. She walked out of the room and caressed her soft hair as she smiled brightly at her now unmasked husband. He went slowly towards her with a beautiful but shy smile as he kissed her softly and gave a small pat to Malon's head, on hand behind his back. His lopsided smile enlarged before his wife could do anything else as he took his hand out from behind his back, a home made camo patterned bag into his strong hand. Malon was sure that her mother would have dropped her from shock if she hadn't hopped from her arms some seconds ago. The woman's pale eyes were impossibly wide as she took the offered bag in her hands, feeling that there are some things inside. Tears finally streamed down her face as she looked at all its angles, noting the sloppily stitched words into the bag as she squinted and smiled. ''A...A survival bag?... '' A nod was her answer as he made a sign for her to carry on. The noise of the velcro was what filled the cabin as soon as she pulled gently the piece of fabric closing the bag. The only thought that came to her was that she didn't deserve all that, but she knew that her husband would whoop her ass if she said that. Obviously, another shocked gasp escaped her as she wiped her face with the back of her unoccupied hand. She took out the things inside and put them on the kitchen table, putting the bag aside once it was emptied of all its content. Her eyes travelled once again, but to the things that she had gotten out; a pocket knife, a compass in a small leather pouch and what seemed like a Swiss pocket knife and a big roll of thick rope. Happiness invaded her full body and she hugged her husband tightly, her arms coming to wrap around his neck before she kissed him, chuckling and parting as she heard a small “eww” from Malon. “I love you so much….” The answer she got was her lover’s hands in the shape of a heart as he pointed to her. She chuckled again. Leaning her body on him after some moments, MJ started to speak again. “I seriously don’t deserve you two… It’s just……” There was a pose and Malon and Jason could almost have thought that she would have cried again, yet she didn’t. “Thank you…. “

The three hugged tightly, staying in the hug as long as long as they wanted as they didn’t have anything to do anyway. “Y’all want to play a board game?—“ Mumbles and whines from Malon greeted her as she laughed, seeing the childish face Jason did. “Come on! I’ll search for one!” They couldn’t complain as she already went to search for it. For the rest of the day, the small family played games and joked with each other, having a pretty nice day. It was the first time MJ had celebrated her birthday with Jason and Malon, but she could consider it the best birthday she ever had…

[iplaymatchmaker]

Hi, can I ask for a match up request for Ikevamp! I'm bi, female (she/her) sagittarius sun, virgo rising, libra moon, ENFT. I'm 5'2, chubby/curvy w/ great boobs, I have longer  brunette hair w/ peekaboo highlights (they've been every color, but currently pink), brown eyes, glasses/contacts, 7 piercings & 26 tattoos. I'm very empathetic (sometimes to a fault) and have sever anxiety and depression. It takes me awhile to warm up around new people and be myself. I often feel intimidated in big social settings, such as parties, and often use alcohol for some liquid courage to help me let loose and be me in those situations. I've suffered some emotional and mental abuse at the hands of a step parent which has left me with some trauma and triggers; people raising their voice at me or making quick movements toward me or in my direction usually result in me crying and secluding myself for awhile. Oh and I have daddy issues, thanks absent father. That said I also don't do great with authority, I hate being told what to do, and I hate being told no. I can put up with a lot of shit, but eventually it usually becomes a 'straw that broke the camels back' situation and I fly off the handle and then break down. I am also extremely generous and do all I can to help my friends and family when they need it. I have some self confidence issues from weight gain, and I usually feel my best when I'm dolled up with my makeup on and hair done, usually with a dress and heels. I'm a Ravenclaw thats hates to read, but I love learning & know tons of trivia; like I know so many random facts about so many things from history, to movies, to graveyards, and much more. I often correct people on things, which some perceive as me belittling them, but its never my intention I'm just trying to share my knowledge and trying to help them. I am very creative I love crafting; resin art, macrame, cross stich, those are just some of my favorite things to do art wise, I also enjoy coloring books. I love to laugh and think I'm pretty funny, I usually have a dark sense of humor, if you don't like humor we won't vibe together, and if you can't make me laugh we will not be a good relationship match. I like to go to the bar and do karaoke, it's one thing I've learned I'mvery good at. It took me about 2 years, but I've since learned to be confident with my singing and now its one of my favorite things to do. I drink, obviously, gin and tonic is my favorite. I also smoke, I love my hookah, and I've had my medical card for about a year and it's done wonders for my insomnia and cramps. For about 2 years I've been getting severe cramps and stomach pains, and after 5 er trips in a month they didn't find anything, its still a mystery but at least the bud helps the pain. l'm very into the witchy aesthetic; my style is either very Stevie Nicks, pinup, or 2009 emo/scene depending on the day. I collect animal skulls and bone, taxidermy, crystals, and plants; I also practice the craft & love to make spell jars for people. I love tarot and really enjoy doing it. I live for Halloween & enjoy all things macabre! My favorite show is That 70's Show and if I could live in a replica of the Forman's house that would be my dream. I am also very sex positive and rather adventurous in bed. I'm a brat and a voyeur, I'll get down with just about anything. My love language is giving and receiving gifts. I put alot of thought into holidays like Christmas, I plan months in advance to make sure I get everyone the perfect gift; but I also will sometimes see something that just reminds me of someone and have to get it for them. That is all I can think of right now to add about myself. And I feel I don't connect with Vincent at all, so I'd really rather not be paired with him. And for the prompts I'd love 4 and/or 10. Thank you so much in advance, totally appreciate you doing these, sorry it got long..

 Hello, thank you so much for requesting! 🥰 I did your ikevamp matchup first but the ikerev one is on its way. Sorry if I got something wrong, I tried to implement as much of the information as I could. I really hope you enjoy this! Also, I’m sorry to hear about your cramps, i hope you will find a permanent solution soon! Stay healthy and have an amazing day!❤

I match you with

Napoleon!

I went back and forth a bit but I ended up going with our lovely monsieur de Wahaha.

 You two would be a great match considering you both appreciate a good sense of humor. I can see you trying to out-joke each other and ending up doubled over laughing, inevitably calling it a truce.

 Whenever you’re feeling down, he tries to subtly lift you spirits without asking for explanations, unless you’re willing to give them.

  He is also very thoughtful and cares about other people so you two would totally vibe! You appreciate what he does for the children and even tune in to help sometimes, as long as it doesn’t involve fencing. 

  He is very interested in hearing about your interests and any fun fact you have to give him since he’s also eager to learn and teach new things.

 He tries to involve himself in your hobbies to understand you better. Your love for witchy related activities is a part of you that he finds very intriguing.  He’s so fascinated that he asks you to do tarots for him!

  Another thing that you have discovered is that when he’s being stubborn about waking up all it takes is for you to sing to him for his eyes to open in awe, skipping on his usual morning kiss until you’re both properly awake!

  When your first birthday with him rolled around he tried his best to come up with an amazing gift for you, wanting to make sure his love for you is clear. In the end when you unwrapped his gift you found a knitted scarf, dark purple with what tried to be stars scattered throughout. He told you he had observed you very closely while you were working on your own knitting in an attempt to figure out how to do it properly, seemingly very proud despite the garment’s wonky appearance.

 Prompt 4: Meet Cute:

You were deeply invested in your current project, knitting away when you noticed the children on the other side of the fountain, chatting around a man who seemed to be trying to explain a math problem to them. You were about to leave, opting to stay away from the loud crowd when you noticed a man sitting a few feet away from you, his head bowed and his eyes closed. You couldn’t help but put down your supplies and walk over to him, nudging his shoulder.

“Sir, are you okay?” it didn’t take more to wake him up, considering his current position. He flashed you a smile like he hadn’t just been sleeping sitting up.

“I must have fallen asleep. Thank you for waking me, Madame.” Something was odd about him and you couldn’t help but smile back at him.

 He asked you about the project you were working on after noticing the supplies next to you, not paying any mind to the sun slowly setting as you explained. You couldn’t help but  crack a smile every time his curious eyes melted into confusion, urging you to continue explaining.

When he informed you it was time for the both of you to return home- not forgetting to offer walking you back- you made mental note to visit the fountain more often.

 Prompt 10: Admission of feelings

It had been a few months since that first day you found him sleeping on the fountain. You had continued visiting him when he was giving lessons to the children, observing him closely as he taught them about a variety of things.

One of those days while you were observing his lesson, you spoke up before you could think better of it, correcting one of his statements. He seemed surprised at first, but quickly recovered, urging you to continue on with a smile on his face. Despite your worries he pulled you aside, after handing the children over to Isaac, to thank you for correcting him.

You continued to help him after that, often tuning in to help with lessons. It became a sort of routine for you. It took a while, but eventually you two started meeting outside of the impromptu classes, going for walks and the occasional dinner. He seemed increasingly interested in hearing about you.

As you two got to know each other better, he eventually discovered of your love for tarot cards. It took you by surprise when he asked you for a reading. His next words were even more surprising.

“I hope you see yourself in my future.” You didn’t understand what he meant at first, starring at him in confusion for a solid few minutes. He smiled awkwardly before continuing his thoughts, making his intentions clear.

“What I’m saying is I’d like us to be more than friends. I want to keep discovering more about you, if that’s alright with you.” After the initial shock, you nodded, smiling widely at him, your hand reaching for his. When the waiter arrived, asking if you were ready to order, blushing furiously when he realized what had transpired, you both burst into laughter, happiness bursting out of the both of you.

[toomanyfandoms02]

The Transporter -Part Two- // Spencer Reid x Reader

Well here is part two of this whole new thing. I hope you guys like it :)

Word count ~ 2,630

It was a weird feeling. It took mere seconds but I could feel all of it.

It was like stretching, it wasn't uncomfortable, it was just odd.

I stumbled a bit, taking in my surroundings. It was a nice little apartment, I was set in the kitchen. Ahead of me I could see what looked like two bedrooms, a bathroom and the kitchen/dining room was connected. There was an older looking laptop sitting on the dining table with a sign next to it.

*You're gonna need this at the bureau! Good luck :) I'll see you soon. (Hopefully with an update on Spencer? ;))*

I shoved the laptop in the case that was neatly set on the table, slinging it over my shoulder and staring at my new home. I couldn't believe this was happening. And I don't think it's ever going to register completely.

A loud knock brought me out of my trance, I was at the door quickly, greeted by a giddy woman.

"Hello! You must be y/n. Your sister said you would probably be here today. I'm Amanda, your landlord." She shook my hand enthusiastically. I assume that Christine introduced herself as my sister.

"Yeah, Chris said this was a nice place. I unfortunately think I need to be going. I think I'm suppose to be introducing myself at my new job."

"Ah yes! At the FBI. Good luck to you." She moved from my way and I had her point me towards the BAU.

Christine was correct, the BAU was only a 10 minute walk from my apartment. I was literally shaking with nerves and excitement. I had dreamed for *years* of meeting Spencer Reid, more realistically Matthew Gray Gubler. But now that it was happening? I was almost too scared to do it.

Almost.

I walked into the doors instantly being questioned by a young man at the front desk. "Are you looking for someone? Can I have a name?"

"Y/n y/l/n, and I'm looking for Aaron Hotchner. I believe I'm suppose to be introducing myself today, I'm a new recruit."

"Ah I see, the new profiler." He nodded, looking at the screen. He then gave me a floor number and I headed up. I was cracking my knuckles the whole way up, it was a nervous tick. As soon as the doors opened I recognized many people.

JJ was hunched over her desk obviously reviewing a case file. Hotch, Derek and Rossi were in Hotch's office discussing something. That's when I saw the reason I had even considered this completely. Reid and Emily were staring at the board in the conference room. Emily was clearly trying to point more things out so Reid could put together a proper profile.

I knew I had to keep my composure and be professional. I *also* realized I have to act like I don't know everything about these people. So I calmly walked to Hotchs office and knocked lightly on the door. Rossi opened the door with his eyebrows knit together.

"Do you need something? Have a case to propose?"

I was a little frozen. Seeing one of your idols up close was a little...*overwhelming*. How was I gonna act when I was around Spencer?

"Oh! Uh, no. I'm the new recruit?" It came out as a question, which I'm sure confused him even more. I shot my hand out to him to shake. "Y/n y/l/n. My sister said she briefed you on my experience." That was a small lie, I was just assuming and **hoping** she did. He smiled, taking my hand.

"Yes of course. Come on in." He swung the door open further so I could enter the office. Derek was leaned on a chair in front of Hotch, who was sitting at his desk. "I'm David Rossi, this is Derek Morgan and this is Aaron Hotchner, our unit chief." I shook Derek and Hotchners hands, they were just as welcoming as I had hoped. We discussed a few things before we were on out way to the conference room. I began cracking my knuckles again. Hotch looked down at me, I quickly realized he was attempting to profile me, and clearly succeeding.

"There's nothing to be nervous about Ms. Y/l/n. You will fit in perfectly here." He reassured. I nodded, shoving my hands in my pockets to only slightly prevent myself from cracking them profusely.

Then there I was, entering the heavily windowed conference room. I had recognized the photos on the board since I had watched Criminal Minds so many times.

"Oh my god Cold Comfort." I muttered to myself. That was the name of the episode. It was the case where a man had been embalming his victims while alive. I had landed myself on the exact date of a pretty important case.

"Hmm?" Derek questioned me. Hearing me whisper a bit. I just shook my head with a nervous smile.

Emily had turned around to wave but Spencer kept his face glued to the board, which I was partially grateful for.

"That is Doctor Spencer Reid and Emily Prentiss. This is our new recruit, Agent y/n y/l/n. She has a degree in Criminal Justice, she also minored in psychology and sociology. She has been profiling in a different department for four years and I've been told she is quite talented at it." At that comment Specer had whipped around. He was holding a dry erase marker in his mouth and a pen in his hand. It was taking every single cell in me to not squeal just a little bit. So I just smiled.

"Will you profile me?" He asked, pulling the marker from his mouth and setting it on some papers the were strewn across the large table. I raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Well statistically speaking if you have been doing this for several years, you *should* be pretty good at it. Considering you are being complimented on it implies that you are slightly above average for the actual limited years you have been doing it. So will you profile me?"

Are you kidding? I knew him like the back of my hand, this was going to be way to easy.

"Alright." I stood up a little straighter and smoothed out the skirt I was wearing. "You didn't have a particularly nuclear family kind of childhood. You lick your lips a lot, you've done it 4 times since I've been standing in this room, this is commonly learned from anxiety at a young age. I assume you have a pretty good IQ, considering you didn't use any contractions. It shows sophistication. I'm guessing you graduated highschool *way* early, I'm thinking...twelve? You look pretty young to be doing this kind of job, kind of like me. And I've been told you have multiple PhD's, that takes a while, even if you're a genius. But I graduated when I was sixteen. Nothing too special, only 2 years early. And lastly, I would guess you have an eidetic memory, correct? Theres a notebook sitting next to you. It even has your name printed at the top. It was made for you. But you haven't touched it since I entered this floor from what I can tell. You don't need it because everything is permanently in your mind." I cracked my knuckles once more, trying to gauge him again.

He wiped his hand over his face. "Wow, uh, that is incredibly detailed and accurate. Have you read any of my articles online?" I shook my head. "You seriously have no prior knowledge of me?" I shook my head again, which is kind of a lie you know? I mean, I knew *everything* about him. I knew a lot of things about all of these people. But really I knew most about him. He was like an idol to me. "That is incredible. How long did you say you've been doing this?" He asked with a tilt of his head. I couldn't help but smile more, he was even cuter in person and it was almost hard to stand.

"Four years. I worked as an intern under my uncle. He's the one that inspires me most." I probably shouldn't be discussing my real family, saying as they definitely won't ever know of them. What are the chances they would even want to anyway?

"Well I would love to meet him one day, he clearly mentored you well." Spencer said, looking at me hopefully.

Well shit. "Uh, yeah, maybe one day." I looked over at the door, more looking away because I was totally lying and did not want to be profiled, but I then saw JJ.

"Oh, this is Jennifer Jareau. She usually goes by JJ. JJ, this is y/n y/l/n. Our new profiler." Hotch gestured to her. JJ smiled sincerely and shook my hand.

"It's great to meet you. I heard your sister talking about you, it's a pleasure to have you on the team." Clearly Christine has set me up for immense success, which I greatly appriciated. I sat at the table, ready to listen to the details of the case that I remembered a good bit about. I quickly tucked my laptop under my chair.

"So yesterday, Brooke Lombardini our victim. Had a call out from a disposable phone directed to her mother. It is kinda of suspicious and definitely statistically impossible to prove that it is even her because it's only a whisper-" Hotch cut him off with a stern look. Spencer huffed lightly, continuing. "Anyway. There is slight evidence that she is alive. We are looking for someone with medical experience, considering he has the tools to embalm. It also appears that he is doing it while they are still alive." At this point, I was pretty happy that I already knew a lot about this case. Because it was really hard to focus when he talked, I loved it. So for about half of the time I was just watching him talk.

After being briefed, JJ took me to my desk, where she began to explain who was who in the office. Of course I already knew everything about them, but I really just wanted JJ's opinion on them.

"So that hunk over there," she gestured to Derek, "He would probably take a bullet for anyone. He has a very good heart and he's very hard working."

"Is Mr. Hunk Morgan your hunk?" I already knew the answer, but I wanted to tease her.

"Oh. No no. This is my hunk." She pulled her wallet out, showing me a picture if Will. "Will is a cop in another city." She looked at the picture lovingly. "But Morgan does have a weird relationship with Garcia." She then nodded at Penelope.

"Penelope is a very sweet, and incredibly quirky woman who is a blessing to the team. She will immediately start calling you sweety when you officially meet her. I'll bet money on it." I giggled a little and pretended to take notes which got her to laugh. "Reid is a special kind of sweet. He constantly tries to keep people safe. He's obviously a genius. He will talk your ear off about anything until you tell him to stop, so don't even get him started. He doesn't read social queues very well." I shrugged, setting my head in my hand as I peered into the conference room.

"I think he's sweet." I *now* realized that I seemed like a complete creep for thinking that if I had only known him for an hour. "I mean, he seems sweet. It's always nice to have a genius around right?"

"Curse and a blessing. Anyway, Hotch is a hard-ass, but he would do anything for this team. He's a great leader. Emily can be stern sometimes. She knows how to get answers out of people and she doesn't take any shit. And I'm sure you know Rossi, from his books?"

"Yes! He's seems great to work with."

"Yes, definitely. It's a weird team, but I wouldn't trade then for the world."

"Well I'm glad that you guys are so caringly taking me into your family."

"Of course, you'll be one of us in no time."

It wasn't long before I was starting my trek home. The walk was was very peaceful. It gave me a long time to soak in this wonderful universe. I had to walk through a park to get home, and all I could think was

*Wow, I could get use to this*

Once I was home, I flopped down on the couch, thinking about netflix but guess what?

*Netflix started their streaming site only two years ago*

Well that idea is out the window. I decided I was going to turn to disney channel and bask in the best decade of disney shows. But that would have to wait until I came back, I wanted to report things to Christine.

I grabbed my 'Come Back Device' and went to press it when I was interrupted by a knock for the second time today. I dropped the device, it landing on the couch safely.

"Coming, hold on." I walked to the door opening it to the last person I expected to see.

The one and only, Spencer Reid.

"Uh hi. You kinda left this under your chair in the conference room." He presented my laptop to me. My cheeks flushed for a second, knowing it was because I was distracted in there.

"Oh, thank you! Wait how did you-"

"Don't worry, I'm not some stalker." He waved his hands in defence. "I just looked at your file so I could bring this to you. Which also sounds kind of stalkerish but that was definitely not my intention. But you should know, if I was a stalker I wouldn't have come to you directly, that would be too-" I cut him off, I couldn't let him torture himself like this.

"Hey, Dr. Reid, I don't think you're a stalker." I giggled, grabbing my laptop from his hand. "Thank you though, for bringing it to me." He looked a little past me, at the couch.

"It was my pleasure. You can also call me Spencer. What is that?" He began pointing at the device.

"Oh uh, it's for my Halloween costume this year."

"And you're starting it now? In February?"

"Yeah!" I said a little loudly and enthusiastically. I lowered my tone, trying to think of some character in this timeline it could represent.... Bingo! "It's for an Iron Man costume. Just wanted it to be accurate. I leaned against the door frame, partially blocking his view of it.

"You like Iron Man?" I nodded. "I agree. I think that Robert Downey Junior is the perfect fit for him. I think it helps that he has a sort of troubled past already to fit his character well." Before he could drag me into a conversation like this, I stopped him. I didn't want to stop him. I loved his little rants. But I knew if I was pulled into a Marvel discussion, I will talk for hours.

"Yeah! I'm so sorry. I would really, trust me, really like to keep talking, but I am so exhausted and I'm not sure I would be good company. Thank you so much again for bringing this to me Dr.- I mean Spencer." I lifted it up and smiled.

"Yes of course. Any time. See you tomorrow Agent y/l/n."

"You can call me y/n."

He smiled with a little salute, "y/n."

And then he was gone. I huffed, heading back inside incredibly flustered and down right anxious. I swiftly grabbed the device and pressed the button, opening the portal back.

I had a *lot* to tell Christine.

(Do you guys have an suggestions on how to continue? I have some ideas, but I want your guys' input :))

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[iamacolor]

Hey Violette :) Thank you so much for answering my idol turned actors question. It was very enriching to read your pov because I have the opposite story.

I started listening to kpop before watching kdramas so the idols made me watch the shows (very few because I can't sit there for an hour to an hour and a half and focus on this). I mainly watched shows with either my biases or members of groups I liked. I'm no kdrama expert but I've always struggled watching my faves or idols I knew do something so different from what I'm used to. I was kinda scared to realize they weren't as good as expected. I still have that fear from time to time but I let go of it with time.

I have to agree with you that in most of the shows I've watched, the idols did a correct job playing their roles. I don't think I've been blown away by a performance but I think they did really good.

Also, while my memory is still working, I'd like to point out that a lot of idols have been cast in entertainment companies because they wanted to pursue an acting career, not an idol one. I've seen my fair share of idols looking almost "empty" while on stage and brought back to life when acting. It links to what you said about idols being pretty and learning how to sing/dance on stage. It seems, to me, that a lot of idols have been deprived of their long-time dream for so long and now they're taking the opportunity to act all the roles they want to play. Which is also interesting because I don't think I've seen an idol play a role that's far from their idol image. I mean, most of them either play a student or a young crush. This is sad because they are able to be more than that. I'd love to see more idols play crazier and deeper characters.

Like you said, it's not because idols are cast in a show that they're for sure worse actors than those who decide to make a career out of it. It's mainly due to the fact that people seem to enjoy putting idols in this "they're only good at being pretty" etiquette. Stop with the clichés please!

And that's a wrap! I don't remember what I wrote in the beginning (save me). Thank you for making this conversation so interesting. It was nice talking to you about this.

hello anon! ah my pleasure, really, i'm glad you read throught it all!!

(honestly i relate why are episodes so long, there are some shows where i've ended up just skipping every 10secs and still managed to not lose the plot - so i often watch dramas while doing something like knitting or eating or anything with my hands otherwise i lose focus) and i understand that fear honestly, especially if it's someone you really enjoy listening to or watching perform it'd be weird to find that they're really not made for it - also i sometimes worry about seeing the idol rather than the character because with other actors i mostly know nothing about them outside of their characters but if it's an idol from a group i like it usually means i've seen them in variety content or interview - and it's good that you've managed to let go of that! especially because you can always see people improve and you don't have to watch anything if it's not up to your tastes - there will always be people having contradictory opinions on anything we think is good or bad anyway so even if i think someone is good others might not anyway

and that's a very good point actually!! i remember discovering that when reading about an actor who was also a trainee, they all get to learn a bit of everything at first as well and also a lot of them are often casted for their looks even if they don't necessarily have any plans to be an idol or work in the entertainment industry so it's not like being an idol was always their dreams since they were kids (and singing and dancing and all the training that go with it is very taxing) so it makes sense that their agency would have them do both and that they would enjoy acting and pursue it (i did both choir and drama club growing up but i know i would enjoy acting 100% more than being a singer lol)

and yeah they often start as either part of a romantic pairing or as sweet or funny secondary character, it's only after they've acted for a few years that they can "stray" from it and go for more diverse roles (withou necessarily a romance, or something more melodramatic or a thriller...) so i find that a lot of 2gen idols get to do these more complex roles and step out of the cute stories or the sweet/fun characters but even then it's very rare to see them play a vilain? the only one i can think of is taecyeon from 2pm in vincenzo but he's already in his 30s, he's done his military service, he's well into acting now (and even then it surprised a lot of people) or ksyungsoo from exo in the movie swingkids who isn't a vilain per se but very much a grey character who's not very sympathetic at first and it's all tragic (i rellay recommend this movie btw). and the problem sometimes is if they've played two similar-ish characters people tend to put them in a box and think they can't do more (the exemple i have of that is eunwoo: after a few secondary roles, he did a college drama and a high-school drama, both romances, and people kept saying he was doing the same roles all over again and that he couldn't act and that he was typecast etc despite doing a sageuk in between and now doing a fantasy thriller) - and so of course it must make it scary for them to go too out of the box because they might be afraid people will think they're trying too hard and casting directors might not think they have the range etc especially since the actor-idol are often the visual members

also this made me think and there don't seem to be as many female idols who go into acting as male idols do? or at least they don't go on to get to play leads as much as the men, i've seen maybe 5 or 6 of them as leads - sejeong, nana, hyeri, sooyoung, joy, krystal...- and a few get secondary roles but i went throught the list of all the dramas i've watched and i found so many male idols

i think i've just wrote all of this to simply agree with you lol but this was very interesting to think about, thank you anon!! 💜